Hotel porn desperation
Here we go my loobies - the 12-inch version of the QOTW question

Stranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access and no pay TV for the best part of two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures of the kind that no sane man should stoop.

After a set of circumstances too bizarre to enter into on these pages, I found myself in a Brazzaville hotel with nobody but heavily-armed goons for company, and no planes anywhere until the following Friday.

Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning of my boss still ringing in my ears ("You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there") I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.

Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, only with evil, gimlet eyes, breasts the size of cantaloupes and a nadger that looked like a small dog nestling in her lap. But - as they say - any port in a storm, and eye-bleach was in short supply.

Petrified that the hotel cleaners would discover my heavy-breasted sketches and hand me over to the local militia for a good, hard mocking, I would rip up each and every page on a daily basis and flush my work down the toilet.

Audrey Roberts, eh? Who'd have thunk it.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:38, 3 replies)

Have you seen "Superbad" yet?
The fat one when he was younger fixating on drawing purple-viened meat truncheons in an almost b3ta-stylee; he's also drawn a tiananmen square stand off with a big cock stopping the tanks.

I don't think he masterbated to it though.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 11:22, closed)

?
You can't go two weeks without wanking?

Maybe I just don't get it coz it doesn't work for me.....
(loki lie smith kiss me til I'm in a coma, Sat 17 Nov 2007, 3:50, closed)

loki lie smith
Two weeks? I can't go for two days before getting antsy.

But then, I just tell myself I'm staving off prostate cancer.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 17:39, closed)