Desperate TimesStranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.
Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.
What have you done in times of great desperation?
(
Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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Looking at a rather large orange one day,I decided to try shagging it (vertically down the middle)
After a couple of initial thrusts, the quite intense pain caused by the citric acid in my japs eye put me off trying that one again.
Also, when i'd broken my wrist once, I had to wrap layer upon layer of toilet tissue around it to give it enough girth to create any friction, as I couldn't clench my palm together enough.
Pulling little bits of spermy-tissue out for hours after...
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 13:15, 5 replies)
Why notjust use your other hand?
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K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 13:57,
closed)
.Does this not also qualify for the earlier 'Too much information' QOTW? :-)
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 14:04, closed)
.Fucked a grapefruit once, wasn't too bad but then I was in the shower, dilution, maybe that will help you next time?
And yeah, swap hands?
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 14:18, closed)
use silkJiggle your bell rapidly inside a fist of loose silk. The friction is quite pleasing, but the silk has to be thrown away later. Ort ask a girl to do it for you.
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 14:58, closed)
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