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This is a question Desperate Times

Stranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.

Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.

What have you done in times of great desperation?

(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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Back during the world cup....
....i foolishly offered to be the designated driver for one of our outings to the pub. This was not a wise move on my part as the venue was some 50 miles from my house (so we could see some ex-uni mates at the same time).

So, we go. I drive. We arrive. We set foot in the pub....

....now maybe it was because i knew i couldn't drink, maybe it was beause it was forbidden, or maybe it just WAS. The atmosphere in that place was electric, no muppets, just happy, cheery, beered up football fans.

Not. Bloody. Good.

The night would be unbearable if i had to stay sober, but i also had to get home. A taxi was financially out of the question, as were the logistics of getting my car in the morning.


I wanted beer, that was all there was to it. I wasn't going to drive drunk though.

So, after much thought i went to my car, unbolted the earth strap from the inner wing, inserted a bespoke cardboard gasket crudely made from a beer mat. Re attached the lead and got pissed.

I then called the AA later that night. They couldn;t figure out why my car wouldn't start (thankfully my mechanic wasn't the sharpest, it would have been embarrasing had i got a 'time served' mechanic) so in a bid to avaid doing any work he simply lifted my car onto his truck and took me and my mates home and upon questioning my stae i simply replied...."It took you 50 minutes to get here, i'm at a pub, what did you think i'd do"

Still, it was a good night.

Fourth emergency service? You betcha.
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 17:17, 1 reply)
I've heard of someone going to a pizza place and ordering a pizza to be delivered. He then got a ride home with the driver.
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 0:08, closed)

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