Desperate TimesStranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.
Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.
What have you done in times of great desperation?
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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Peeing with an audienceWhen I worked for the DSS we entered a football team in the national cup competition or such like, and had to play a team in Falkirk...roughly 50 miles from where I was based.
After the game we went for a couple of pints before heading home, now I was approx 18/19 at that time (about 9 years ago), and had only started drinking when I was 17 and hadn't quite mastered the fine art of 'bladder management' yet, so didn't go to the toilet before we left for home.
That was bad. I've never needed the toilet so bad in my life, before or after. And that was only about half way through the journey, and for some reason the driver refused to stop...possibly lack of places to stop that wasn't the hard shoulder. Anyhoo, we get to our first passenger drop off point - about 45 miles into the journey - and I can't take it anymore, I'm insistent I need to use his toilet. Ok he says.
So we race up the stairs to his tenement flat and as we go in he shouts to his wife that I was there and I was going to use the toilet. She says "that's fine, although you'll need to check with Jack".
Ah.
Jack was my colleague's 3 year old son, who at this moment was having a bath. (Now my colleague and his wife were both deeply religious so I was surprised I was allowed) My colleague asks Jack if I could use the toilet while he was in the bath, who answers "I've got a boat!". "Seems fine with it", my colleague says..."Pee away". (i'm not sure why they didn't take him out so I could pee then put him back in when I'd finished, but hey it's their child).
Man that was a satisfying pee. Took a little while to get going, what with holding it in so long and Jack talking to me about boats ("do you have a boat!?") but I got there eventually.
So I guess my story is "I was so desperate for a pee I did it in front of a naked child", which is weird. Sorry!
EDIT: Oh yeah, I forgot...Fuck off Prince!
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 17:50, 1 reply)
Paedo!Onto the register with you!
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 15:57, closed)
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