Desperate Times
Ok. I admit it. I'm desperate for some help with my new service www.daftdoggy.com/recorder/record.php

I *really* need beta testers to play with it and tell me what works and what doesn't.

And, as a bonus, I'm going to be using the app to record some of my B3ta stories and make them available as a Podcast.

OK - begging over. Tale follows.

I gave up smoking once - worst ten minutes of my life. So, one rainy Sunday evening I cracked and set off through the pissing rain to the pub to get a packet of smokes.

On the way back, I took a shortcut to get home quicker and out of the rain. Well this shortcut led down a really steep,muddy, bank to the main road. Now I have a superb sense of balance so I took this incline with my hands in my pockets. Fall? - Not me sir.

Well of course my feet shot straight out in front of me and I dropped like a bag of shit straight onto the kerb - right on my spine. My full weight landed on the kerb and I was out for the count. I didn't know it was possible to knock yourself out without hitting your head but it is.

So there I was. Lying unconcious on a muddy road. It make matters worse, my body had blocked the rain running down the road as I was forming a dam. The water collected in front of my body, and before long, not only was I unconcious, I was fucking drowning as well.

Luckily a passing car saw me and stopped. They pulled me away from the water and called an ambulance. I woke, in incredible pain, just as the ambulance pulled up. They carted me off to hospital where I had a shitload of x-rays on my spine. The emergency doctor couldn't decided if my back was damaged or not so they kept me in for the night until a bone doctor could review my x-rays and decide waht to do.

Now seeing that this was a possible spinal injury they decided not to take chances and tied me to the bed - with two fuck-off blocks of wood acting as a vice to stop me moving my head. Ever tried to get to sleep when you can't move at all? I don't think it's possible.

It all turned out OK though. My spine wasn't broken - just badly brusied and they discharged me the next day..

So you see what being desperate for a smoke can do to you. Don't smoke kids.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 8:42, 1 reply)

Blurred memory
I have a vague recollection of you recounting this tale one drunken Friday night in the Sun. Or it could have been a drunken Sunday afternoon in the Tap. Either way, there was drink involved. And lots of it.

Still funny though. *click*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Nov 2007, 10:10, closed)