I'm sure it happens to the best of us
This story concerns my first proper girlfriend, Demon Bitch From Hell, that you may remember from my previous posts.

It was Valentines day. I spent the day cleaning my house, I bought a rather expensive bottle of wine, and when she came round at 6 o'clock I was preparing a nice spaghetti bolognese.

We ate, we drank, we became very merry indeed - and ended up cuddled up on the sofa, candles lit around us, with soft jazz playing in the background.

I kissed her lips lingeringly, and placed my left hand on her hip, slowly trailing my fingers downwards. She unbuttoned my fly and started to carress me through my boxer shorts. I kissed her lips again.

Her beautiful brown eyes belied the wicked smile on her face. I kissed her neck and slowly worked my way down her body, kissing and licking and nibbling.

In no time at all we were both naked and she lay spread-eagled on the bed. She beckoned me toward her and, trembling with anticipation, guided my twitching bell-end into her wet, warm haven.

5 seconds later, my fun-trumpet unleashed a torrent of foaming, rabid muck into her love tunnel.

"Is that all?" she said, with an angry edge to her voice.

I was so ashamed.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 15:37, 5 replies)

Maybe you should have hit back with...
Well, at least I came!

*Clicks*
( Stu71 ....bad money dies, I love the scene, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 15:39, closed)

Ooh, damn.
Sympathy click. Nothing worse than building it up in your mind so much that you can't hold back for more than a minute or two. Hasn't happened to me in years, thank god, but I remember the shame.

Good thing that twenty minutes later I was up for finishing the job...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 26 Jun 2008, 15:44, closed)

Damn.
Now I'm horny.
( Maladicta, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 23:29, closed)

Aww
I know that feeling dude. At least you got in there before popping unlike my first time!

*shamed bowed head*

And as for Maladicta, let me be of service ;) (if the above does put you off, but judging by your reaction to the original story, I guess not!)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 22:27, closed)

5 seconds?
So you did it twice then?
(kitescreech still here, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 11:30, closed)