whooa there fella
I'm 31 and have a two year old daughter, it is in no way all great, sometimes she throws back her head and laughs at a funny face. Most of the time she just throws up or throws her food away. If you are looking after a toddler and need a shit what do you do? these and many other conundrums await you. You will take them to the zoo a lot as past 12 months they are bored shitless of your house. Once there you will pay a fucking fortune out of your much reduced disposable income (single income or childcare will take care of that) your child will run in all happy fall over skin their knee and you will have to leave you will then feel a cunt as just for a second you cared more about the wasted tenner than your kids knee, its better to take them to pets at home.
You are right you will never be to busy to play with them that's what being a parent is all about, you will however be to busy to tidy up, to do any project, to read to cut the grass in that ideal back garden you dreaming of, and you can't do it when they are in bed as everything is then to noisy and you are to knackered. I've been told good grandparents help but it sounds like you might be struggling like me. Your friends will quickly run out of stuff to talk to you about. If they have colick you will suffer the guilt of wanting to kill them, you won't kill them but at times you WILL want to.
You will try to make them work for things but sometimes you will give them stuff just to shut them up, THEY REMEMBER THIS but even though warned you will do it anyway. You will spend festivals at the children's activity's and sat at the tent with the kids as mum has them all the time and needs a break, and even if mum doesn't have them all the time she sets the precedent during breast feeding and you can't say 1 year latter "hang on I have them more than you now I want some time of without sounding like you think childcare is a chore". If one of you gets ill you all get ill, your child will be in the bath as you try to wash sick of her/him, at this point you will need to puke and shit at the same time, that's a conundrum even without the possible drowning!
If you are ready for all this great but you will still be ready in ten years, enjoy yourself a bit first, look after other peoples kids they will jump at the chance to let you. Please listen to the others before me who say "you sound like great dad but get some life experience first. Oh and you are a man so you get fuck all say in what your kids are called your partner has been pregnant for 9 months and can't even put her own socks on what you want doesn't matter any more, its got to be all about what she a=wants at this point. When your partner has kids if it doesn't go to plan you will be miles from home confused and tired and scared and hungry you will be treated as an obstacle by medical professionals and the whole while you must show nothing but carm reasureing never ending support, its harder than you think.
I hope you will be the worlds best dad but for your sake I hope it happens in 5 to 10 years time or I think you will snap, I couldn't do this 5 years ago and I'm not even trying to be perfect just to get by.
Basically being a dad is about realising the job is important and you are not you will feel guilt every time you forget this, you will then feel mad that you are made (by yourself) to feel guilty for still wanting to be you and you will be guilty about this. You will love a thing that can be touched by death and have to let it be itself and go its own way. You will sometimes get a smile which will make it worthwile but only just and you have it easy compared to mum who will shout at your kids and then you will feel guilty about wanting to punch her to stop her.
Be yourself for a while please
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 13:27, Reply)