lip lump
i once had a white lump on my top lip. being a world-class procrastinator, i did nothing about it for quite some time, believing it to be a simple spot. after about 3 months, i realised the milky bugger wasn't going anywhere without force, so i decided on a bit of facial eviction.
first, i tried squeezing. this hurt and made my eyes water, but didn't work. second, i tried abrasive cleansing wipes. no joy.
finally, i decided it was time to bite the bullet and bring out the big guns. in this case, a sterilised darning needle. i tentatively jabbed at my pustulent stowaway but, it seemed, not hard enough. expecting a brief pop and not-so-brief pain, i jabbed harder. for just a moment, the spot resisted, but to no avail. the needle plunged into its gungy centre like a hot knife through butter. curiously, there was no pain, but i now had a needle hanging out of my face. i grabbed the head(of the needle, you filthy-minded buggers!) and yanked. out it popped. the expected pus, however, was nowhere to be seen.
as there was clearly a hole in my lip now, i thought that squeezing might actually work this time.
it did. oh, my word, it did. what came out wasn't so much pus as a 2-foot long worm of white crap. there seemed to be no end to it. fortunately, i was more intrigued than sickened.
that was about 8 years ago. the spot has never returned, but i do still have a very small scar on my lip.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 20:34, 2 replies)

Knew your liplump's little brother
Similar approach, except when it wouldn't squeeze I used a needle to pepper-prick the bugger.

When I squozed again, pus was expelled with silly force as skin gave and hit the mirror and stuck there like a little blob of yellow mash.
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 21:02, closed)

eeeeewww
sounds like the white worm looked better, anyway!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 18:20, closed)