murder on the dancefloor
in which my friend tries a bit of impromptu nail surgery on my foot.

one night, i was out clubbing with 2 of my mates. as it was summer, i was wearing sandals without socks or tights. however, my mate had come out straight from work and was wearing steel toecapped boots. as we were both pretty much hammered, dancing was strangely attractive.
we were both getting down to the latest tunes, when my mate misjudged his step. his massive clodhopping boot came crashing down full-force onto my foot, crushing my middle toenail. i yelled like fuck but, due to the music, my mate didn't realise why i was shouting. as he pulled his foot away, my crushed toenail was ripped out of its toe-based home, leaving my foot pissing bloodd everywhere. when i saw the state of my foot, i went an almost greyish-white. my mate, on the other hand, decided that antiseptic was called for, so he poured a bottle of WKD over my foot. sweet dancing grandma, it hurt. not wanting to go home or spend the night in casualty, i decided that drowning my pain was the best idea, so many more drinks were consumed.
the next morning, my foot looked truly horrendous. my toe was hugely swollen and bruising had started to show. a mixture of mud, blood and blue WKD coated my foot. i'm amazed it didn't get infected.
2 months later, my toenail had grown back. i've never again worn sandals while drinking with that particular friend, though.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 21:27, Reply)