Warts...
I work with live marine fish, and as a result of stressed and sometimes sick fish when they first arrive(plenty of zoonoses such as fish TB), salt water, chemicals, various kinds of dead insect frozen foods, venomous fish, urchins, corals (many of which carry more nasties in their protective slime than you'd find on a public toilet seat at the end of a saturday eve) anemones and so on and so on, it's pretty needless to say we end up with some really quite bizarre skin complaints. We have one guy who's skin falls off. Literally, drops off his hands. We've had several of those. He's now on steriods for it. Thankfully, my worst skin complaint not involving venom was that I grew a wart.
Now, I've never had a wart in my entire life and it freaked me the fuck out. It was on the base of my thumb, on that fleshy chunk just above your wrist. People kept telling me to leave it alone, or put Wartner on it. Well, Wartner was 8 quid a tube. Animal workers don't get paid great salaries. So I did what any good skint person would do and BURNT the fucker off with concentrated Hydrochloric acid. The acid we dilute with 60% water, 30% acid to clean really stubborn calcium stained tanks and sterilise with. I put some on a cotton bud every day for about a week and dabbed it onto the wart, let the tears of immense stinging pain flow for a little, then washed it off. Was going with the theory of 'oooh, you don't want to remove it, it'll come back with friends! It's a virus!' well I'd like to see a virus survive concentrated HCL!

Well it fucking worked. I have been wart free for about 18 months. Take that Wartner!
( Bathory, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 12:44, 1 reply)

My mate
who on a drunken night thought it would be cool to tattoo his entire hand black did a similar thing to remove it over about 2 years a bit at a time. Painfull as FUCKERY I'd imagine. It's getting late took me 4 attempt to spell imagine before getting it right.
(Wagane, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 0:48, closed)