Yorkshire Pudding
Took the ex ex tenting (not camping). All fine, massive tent and moist mod cons so happyish. I knew after a few vinos that she would not mind the slope or a bit of ram raiding.

Spuds sorted and a bit of finger lickin pot noodle just in case she was not entirely satisfied, doubtful, and we were headed to the pub.

Blokes always clock the last pub you drive past, and by intuition auto delete the former if you drive past another. So I knew it was only a ten min walk away.

Which is true, for a bloke. A bird in tow will almost double that, whatever the footwear. Ooh stars (yes, you will be seeing more later), Oo is that the Milky Way? (If it's not it will be shoved up you later... walk faster!).

Pub on the horizon (hilly area), and made it before dawn (that's not her name). Yes! Pint please and a large white wine. '0arr sorry sirs no large' Fine, bottle then. Jacket tugged, and again. "I won't manage the bottle" says XX. Bollocks I think, she's done 3 large glasses before and the bottle afterwards, who is she kidding?

Another tug - easy.

Turn and see her and the 'bar' we had walked into was literally someone's lounge. All smoking. Twenty foot by ten and the 'bar' was infact the serving hatch between the kitchen and the dinning room.

One small glass of wine and a pint of southern Gay beer was dispensed at a very reasonable price I thought.

Xx was sat between two old girls who didn't have a set of dentures between them.

We left after I was offered outside for putting my foot on someone's stool. I told the old fucker to clean it up!

Should have made him......
(Suck it and Sea, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 18:47, 6 replies)

brilliant

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 18:50, closed)

What?
I cannae make out a feckin word.
( Ghoti Fingers, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 19:29, closed)

Hahahayeah. It's funny when Chinese teens try to write English.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 19:32, closed)

So pleased I was not the only one not to get it.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 19:38, closed)

Congratulations. Now I have a headache.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:40, closed)

Alright Rick Fathelme.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:46, closed)