Once, in the Jolly Sailor on Portland,
a Russian sailor, who was jolly alright, tried to steal my dog.

I nearly ended up with 2 half dogs as he'd taken a good hold of the poor mutt and I was trying to wrestle him from this pissed up man-mountain's not inconsiderable grip. Obviously this fucking vodka sponge had taken a liking to my dawg and was resolved to take him home to the motherland on his ship.
It all ended reasonably amicably as I shook him warmly by the throat and his shipmates punched him repeatedly in the ear until he let go.
Later the captain told me that he did this in nearly every port and sometimes got the dog on board before being discovered.

The dog ate a discarded kebab on the way home and threw up shortly afterwards.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 13:13, 9 replies)

He'd be from the Russian Sailors Portland Canines Appropriators.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:08, closed)

I once woke up in there on the floor, at 9am, with "7 minutes" written on my head.
I'd passed out on a stool, and people had taken bets on how long it would take before I fell off it. That was the winning bet.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 14:30, closed)

This is marvellous.

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:05, closed)

Top pubbing.
And more amusing and relevant than at least 93% of the actual answers.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 12 Feb 2014, 16:19, closed)

This should be a separate story.
and should win.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 12 Feb 2014, 17:47, closed)

Haha
I think I may have seen you, although it wasn't entirely unknown for people to sleep at the bar. Did you drink in the Portland Roads too? I certainly saw someone asleep on a bar stool there.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 0:37, closed)

This happened about seven years ago when the pub was out of business
Some wily people got the keys off the owner and threw a massive party in there.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:18, closed)

To be completely fair
this is more a dog story than a pub story.

A doggy pub story.
(username failed moderation, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 12:33, closed)

Gahh!

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 13:25, closed)