Malcolm.
I an not sure whose ethics are most in question in this pearoast, bordeline Paedo Malcolm or cock tease Scarpe:



Malcolm was a lovely man. As gay as a jamboree though. And he took a rather deep and focussed liking to 17 year old me. One which I did very little to discourage when I realised I was getting bonuses and free meals and perks that the other staff weren’t getting. (£15 an hour for working Christmas day when everyone else was on £8 was no little thing to a skint teenager)

He gave me a £300 trench coat (which took some explaining to my parents who I think to this day still assume I ‘serviced’ him in return)

He took me shoe shopping when he decided that the shoes I had weren’t smart enough for his restaurant. He gave me the keys to his Landrover the day after I passed my driving test so I could ‘fill her up’ when she needed it.

He tried very hard to get me drunk enough to do things that I am not naturally inclined to do. (and, given my age at the time would have been illegal anyway) But he failed. I just got drunk on leftover wine from weddings and staggered the few hundred yards home on my own.

I eventually left when he took me shopping for a new suit and tried to hold my hand while we were walking around the store.

Even then, I may not have left if it hadn’t been for the fact that a girl I had a crush on had a Saturday job at the store and told everyone at college on the Monday that she had seen me out with my boyfriend. Yet another person that I never got to have sex with. (her, not him. Wait…that sounds wrong…I never had sex with him either)

God bless you Malcolm, I hope you found the boy of your dreams eventually. (I’m 35 and still available if you’re still rich…but I still won’t let you fuck me)
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 16:37, 5 replies)

That's an easy question.
Cock tease Scarpe.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 16:58, closed)

You brazen hussy, you!
It would have been good manners to at least give him a helping hand.
Now I'm remembering The Orgazoid and The Bad Thing from Peep Show...
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 17:53, closed)

Funny
I thought of Peep Show as well.

Super Hans: Why didn't you tell me about the wanking?!
Jez: It must have slipped my mind. Did you do it?
Super Hans: How d'you think I got these trainers?
(judgetheobscure used to sweep in butchers' shops., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 17:58, closed)

phew...
my name is actually malcolm and I've just crapped my pants thinking this was about me...but its not as I don't have a Landrover.
( spitsticker is not working on, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:07, closed)

:( poor Malcolm

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 19:08, closed)