Pearoast For a Peabrain
I was once assigned to tend some air quality monitoring equipment located on a ranch in southern Arizona, so I'd make periodic visits to the ranch. Unbeknownst to me, the equipment was also claimed by an arrogant and territorial local pheasant.

As I approached the equipment, the pheasant would endeavor to approach me from behind. Every time I turned my back, the pheasant would peck at my legs. Incensed, I whirled around and kicked the pheasant, but I was never able to land a solid punch on the lightweight bird. Every time I kicked, the demented bird would merely jump upon my shoe and ride it angrily up and down like a seesaw. Kicking the bird just made it angrier, which just made me angrier in return. What the bird lacked in strength, it gained through obsessive determination that I just couldn't match over hours of pitched battle. Years later, I plot revenge, but quail at the thought of a rematch.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Fri 25 May 2012, 19:18, 3 replies)

I like the mental image
of an angry pheasant defiantly riding your shoe as you try to kick it.
( Ken Oath, Fri 25 May 2012, 22:13, closed)

I can never land a punch
with my feet, either.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:09, closed)

Teh punzor!
I like the image of someone quailing at a pheasant...
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:43, closed)