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This is a question Down on the Farm

Have you ever been chased from a field by a shotgun-wielding maniac? Ever removed city arseholes from your field whilst innocently carrying a shotgun? Tell us your farm stories.

(, Thu 24 May 2012, 13:19)
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Forklift mayhem
Being a country boy, for 3 summer holidays whilst at secondary school I worked on the local farm. Although I didn't get to drive the combine, they were foolish enough to let me loose in nearly every other type of farm vehicle going - including my favourite. The 'telescopic handler' fork lift. You know, the one you see on building sites which has the telescopic arm in the middle - weighs 2+ tons and can do a ton of damage? Well on a grain farm you can remove the forks and put on a big bucket scoop. It's very handy for shoving large quantities of grain around a barn.
It's also handy for:
1. Intimidating idiotic Range Rover owners intent on destroying the farm tracks that we used to move grain trailers on. Never play a game of chicken with a 15 year old in farm machinery.
2. Nearly tearing the side off the barn whilst reversing out with the arms fully extended up. I fixed it by pushing the side of the barn upright using the forklift from the other side...

And most importantly

3. Removing abandoned cars from farm tracks. When I say 'remove' I mean, pound the roof in, pierce every body panel with the forks, tip it onto its roof, crush it some more, drive over the front, and finally roll it into a ball before scooping it up and tipping it in the scrap metal bin. Never has so much fun been had by a destructive 15 year old boy.
(, Mon 28 May 2012, 20:40, 3 replies)
I can't think of anything
sensible to say, but I do quite like this.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 12:03, closed)

Number 3 does sound like particularly good fun!
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 12:52, closed)
It also explains where my car went.
I've often wondered.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:23, closed)

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