Filthy pigs
Years ago I was on a TV show with notfunnyman Tom O'Connor. His act consists of him telling ancedotes. His personality is also him telling anecdotes. There really is nothing more to him than that, the man loves the sound of his own voice and finds himself fascinating. Only one tale broke the monotony of being trapped in a green room with the tedious fucker:

O'Connor's son was manager for poor man's Evel Knievel Eddie Kidd and once accompanied him on safari in Kenya. The day's sightseeing ended with an open air barbeque of all kinds of exotic zoo animals. The unfortunate Mr Kidd is what we call a plain eater, (beef) steak and chips kinda guy, and turned his nose up at the zebra and gazelle and whatnot on offer. His manager tried to explain to the locals in charge of the fire that Eddie wouldn't eat what they were offering. They asked what he would eat. Eddie said he'd eat a bacon sandwich. So they dragged out a live pig from somewhere, the chef sliced a hefty chunk off the pig's arse and tossed it on to the flames. The pig started running around bleeding and screaming, the meat sizzled and Eddie turned green. O'Connor jr said "He's not going to eat that", the chef shrugged and forked the meat off onto the ground.

The pig stopped screaming and ate the half cooked slice of it's own arse.

Kidd threw up.

The pig ate that too.
(posthumous mince is tiptoeing through the tulips, Thu 31 May 2012, 2:15, 1 reply)

You are not allowed to make me laugh like that when I'm cracking my fist beer! Foam fucking everywhere.
All I need now is a piggy to clean it up.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 31 May 2012, 4:56, closed)