the drinking hat
in my early twenties, i shared a flat with a friend of mine, who had recently had a baby. as we couldn't go out drinking, we took every opportunity we could* to get pissed. one such night, we'd had a spot of luck on bingo and treated ourselves to a bottle of vodka to celebrate an evening without the restrictions of childcare.
at some point in the evening, i decided that i needed a wee. going up to the bathroom, i discovered what looked like a waterproof cloth doughnut. of course, i put it on my head.
back in the living room, my friend explained that it was a thing to stop water getting into the baby's eyes when she washed his hair. i decided that this should no longer be the case and declared it to be my drinking hat. every time we've had a drink since then, i've worn my drinking hat after i've had a few.
until 2 years ago. that was when the drinking hat had to be thrown away. our nights on the piss just haven't seemed the same since, not even when i tried to row a baby bath across her kitchen floor with a mop. i needed my drinking hat.
2 days ago, whilst walking down the road in high wind, i noticed something blowing up the road towards me. something sequinned. something red.
it was a fedora. a beautiful, red, sparkly fedora, no owner in sight.
it now lives in my bedroom.
i have my new drinking hat!


*we always made sure the baby had a sitter and didn't get drunk when he was in the house with us. we weren't completely irresponsible!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 16:12, 2 replies)

Sounds like the time my friend came downstairs with a ring on his head
and took it swiftly off when told it was his uncle's pile cushion.
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 17:07, closed)

hahahaha!

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 17:23, closed)