Time and motion
My darling wife seems to have no notion of time when planning an activity. When she makes a cup of tea she gets the cups out, gets the milk out, washes the tea pot, puts the tea in.... and only then puts the kettle on to boil the water. When cooking she will put everything on to cook all at once, regardless of how long any of it actually takes. So then either something is overcooked, or it's going cold while waiting for the rest of the meal to cook. And then she gets stressed because nothing is ready at the right time. And then she blames me.

I remember a cartoon in Viz called Mr Pan the Time and Motion Study Man or something, which covered the exact same scenario, except that the husband explained to the wife her failures, ending with her murdering him. I took this as a cautionary tale, so don't bother trying to change my wife from her charming ways.
(Smale is stuffed, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 20:27, 8 replies)

many of these posts make me realise I am not alone.....
including this one especially!
(Studentken is looking for motivation on, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 21:11, closed)

It was..
Simon Lotion, the time and motion man.
(kilt101, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 21:25, closed)

That's the chap!

(Smale is stuffed, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:35, closed)

Agreed. Some people focus on what they want
and put it on first, i.e. the main point of breakfast is bacon, so put it on first, where mushrooms and eggs take longer (in our kitchen). Same with that spatchcocked chicken roast in a tin, you actually have to start the roast potatoes off first. However well done on choking your natural reaction to point out her faults :-)
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 21:26, closed)

I get loads of this shit
A pizza takes 10 minutes to cook .
Green beans take like 2 mins to top & tail, which you can go whilst waiting for kettle to boil, then 3-4 mins to boil.

Logical man way I do it is to put pizza in oven, then start on beans.

Wife will get the beans out & prepare them, then go turn oven on, then get plates out, then pizza in, by which time beans are finally ready, and it's 10 mins more for the pizza. She won't listen to reason :-(
(harrypitta friends with the chilli saucerer, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 23:46, closed)

How I laughed...
You used reason and women in the same sentence.
(SwampyBob, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 23:07, closed)

This is why...
... I can cook twice as fast as my wife.

I start with the things that need to go on first and do most of the preparation while the early things are cooking. You can chop the peppers for the stir-fry while the onion is cooking, then start on the mushrooms etc.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:19, closed)

I had a flatmate who would cook like that. He would spend 15 minutes chopping vegetables into tiny identical shards and putting them in bowls before cooking could commence. Apparently it's called mise en place.
(potato123, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 14:02, closed)