Long Fingernails on Women.
I’ll swear I’ve yet to meet any normal bloke who finds this attractive.

Yes, paint them any pretty colour you like, just don’t grow them like you going for the All-Organic Edward Scissorhand Stunt Double award.

You know that Cola advert, the one where the long-nailed woman cracks open a can and bends her huge fingernail right back on the ring pull? Made me cringe.

Bet it smells fucking horrible under there, too.
(IChewCandlewax, Sat 6 Oct 2012, 15:07, 12 replies)

'I’ll swear I’ve yet to meet any normal bloke who finds this attractive.'
The mistake you've made is thinking women preen themselves for the sake of men. They do it for the sake of other women who are sizing them up, and judging them on their appearance. As long as some women think long fingernails are the way to go, other women will grow theirs long.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sat 6 Oct 2012, 16:12, closed)

Whenever I see them I think "I fucking hope she's got a bidet"

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Sat 6 Oct 2012, 16:24, closed)

How do they wipe without slicing their nether regions into ribbons?

( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sat 6 Oct 2012, 16:38, closed)

nails vs wiping
i remember that question being asked on here before, in the context of long nails in an office, and the reply from the owner(s) of the nails was an angry, embarrassed silence, implying that they just don't.
(DonMorte Cake is a made up drug, Sat 6 Oct 2012, 17:37, closed)

One of the things here that amuses me
is that in this Muslim country (and apparently others) there's a thing like a kitchen sprayer next to every toilet. Apparently you're supposed to just hose yourself off with that and call it good, or scrub with your left hand and then wash after. (Apparently this is dictated in the Koran somewhere, or so I've been told. This is also why you get strange looks if you eat with your left hand here.)

Me, I find it best to wipe, hose off, then wipe again. I've found that I kinda like that as it alleviates the problem of skid marks.

Perhaps the women with talons just kinda splash around and scrub with the left hand? The mind boggles...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sat 6 Oct 2012, 19:24, closed)

Fuck I miss squirty bum hoses.
It's nearly a year since I've had one, and I still find bog roll uncomfortable, dirty and just plain wrong. If people have shit on their hands, they don't smear it around with a bit of paper and call it quits, so why do the same with your arse?
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sat 6 Oct 2012, 19:51, closed)

Use baby wipes then. Best of both worlds.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 6 Oct 2012, 20:01, closed)

I like it.
I shall definitely give that a go.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sat 6 Oct 2012, 20:18, closed)

It will rock your world.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 7 Oct 2012, 0:30, closed)

Until it blocks your bog up
Well known for clogging drains. They don't break up like proper arse paper does.
(fivetide, Wed 10 Oct 2012, 9:22, closed)

I guess I'm the odd one out...
...but I do.
Not some crazy, four inch long, plastic whack job; but a well shaped, manicured talon, delicately running up and down my back while we're - well, you get the picture...

Then again, I've never claimed to be "normal".
(minimalist ..., Sun 7 Oct 2012, 0:48, closed)

You all ask about wiping
but the real problem is when you get an eyelash in your eye.
(xanthine, Wed 10 Oct 2012, 10:24, closed)