Not my father, but my grandfather.
My Grandad is firmly of the opinion that he has never been drunk in his life.
This is not true.
When my Grandma died, my Dad, Uncle and Grandad got together in the family manse before the funeral to tell stories, reminisce and generally get all that unmanly crying out of their system.

Several hours later and they're all plastered. They're having a very drunken argument about Wesht Bromwish Alby-un, wish ish the besht team ever. And Grandad announces he's going to show them the shirt signed by the 1968 team, the legendary cup winners.
"Bullshit!" cry my uncle and Dad.
"Ish not! Ish true! I'll show yoush ungrateful buggersh."
And so my Grandad storms upstairs.

Twenty minutes later, he storms downstairs again.
"Matt! Grant! What do you think of thish then?"

And lo, he is indeed wearing the famous shirt.

And bugger all else.


I think if my Grandma could've seen them, she'd've laughed her considerable arse off.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Mon 28 Feb 2011, 16:11, 6 replies)

Your grandad
is Sean Connery?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 19:22, closed)

Are you stalking me?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 19:24, closed)

In the hope of some day seeing your boobies,
yes.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 23:02, closed)

No, he ishn't.
I've never heard sush vile calumniesh.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:43, closed)

Also, and unrelated,
If they ever remake Scream, they should have Sean Connery as the murderer.
"Hello Shidney. Do you like shcary moviesh?"
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:46, closed)

Did they see his boing boing baggies?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 19:24, closed)