WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!...........ouch.
After a particularly heavy night on the beer, me and a few friends were sorting the sleeping arrangements back at mine.
All the sofas had been claimed, so I volunteer to haul the futon mattress I have stashed in my room downstairs so everyone gets a comfy nights sleep. Aren't I nice?
Whilst pulling/rolling/shoving the mattress out of my bedroom onto the landing, I have an idea. A fucking brilliant idea (or so I thought).

How cool would it be to ride the mattress all the way down the stairs? The mattress gets downstairs, I get a bit of fun and everyone will want a go!

Trembling with childish anticipation, I line the mattress up at the top of the stairs and take a few paces back into the bathroom. This is it, the ultimate in drunken entertainment (after porn).
I ran at the mattress and take a flying leap; I soar through the air with grace and style. I am Lord of the Mattress-stair-riding!!!!!!!


Or I would have been, had I grabbed the mattress.


Unfortunately I realised my mistake mid-flight. Rather than put my arms out to break the fall, I just left them flailing out behind me. My head connected with the floor three foot away from the front door. I then slide head first into the front door, my body crumpling up behind me.
Apparently I was conscious but very limb and unable to talk for some time. Still, I perked up after a while and went to bed, nursing a nasty headache.

Awoke next day with the pillow stuck to my face by blood and pus from the carpet burn/graze behind my ear and a slight twinge in my neck.

My friends have never let me forget the fact I dived head first down my own stairs, for no good reason. :-(
(FerretTrout be illin', Thu 20 Dec 2007, 13:24, Reply)