There's a lot to be said for Hellman's
Well, it wasn't physically painful, but it sure as hell was embarrassing.

My girlfriend and I had just moved into a new house, and after a busy morning moving boxes around and cleaning the place we decided to break for lunch. We were a bit limited in terms of what we had to eat in the place, having mainly breakfast stuff - eggs, sausage and suchlike. We settled on a sausage and egg mayonnaise sandwich. This was all well and good, except that of course we didn't have any mayonnaise. Now, I could have hopped into the car and driven down to the shop to buy some, but with visions of Ready Steady Cook flashing before my eyes I elected to make some.
Second problem - no whisk. But I had a plan for that as well. Because the house needed some work doing, I'd brought my tools with me and amongst them was a rechargeable drill - one of those where the harder you squeeze the trigger the faster it goes. I bent a coathanger into a suitable shape, attached it to the drill, cracked an egg into a bowl and set the drill whirring away, drizzling oil as I went and feeling pretty good about my "Man against the Elements" improvisation.

Except it didn't work. I ended up with an eggy, oily mass that was distinctly unmayonnaisy. I thought about going to the shop for a moment, then thought again that actually what I needed to do was to whisk it harder to get the emulsion started.

So I took my bent coathanger off the rechargeable drill and put it into my mains hammer drill.

Now, the little drill has a controllable speed, and goes up to about 350 RPM flat out. My mains hammer drill has two speeds; ON and OFF, and goes up to 5000 RPM. Coathanger goes in the mixture and - click. Suddenly the world went white as the entire contents of the bowl energetically leapt clear of the whirring wire and redistributed themselves liberally over the whole just-cleaned kitchen: walls, floor, windows, cupboards, ceiling, me. I thought I'd broken the drill as well because I could hear a loud screeching noise, but that turned out to be coming from my girlfriend.
(richardm, Fri 21 Dec 2007, 11:14, 1 reply)

Haha! *clicks*
Especially "Suddenly the world went white"

=D
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 21 Dec 2007, 11:40, closed)