A couple of years ago...
A girl asked me out, and I know I'm not the best looking guy around, but she really wasn't pleasent to look at. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be mean, she just didn't look after herself. I guess you could say she was a bit of a goth, with too much bad make-up and too many piercings. She could have won first place in a Bug-Blatter Beast of Traal look-a-likey competition. Think Brian Blessed and Maralyn Manson's illegitimate love-child.

Anyway, back to the story. One of her friends came up to me and asked if I'd go out with her (I had a bright red mohawk at the time, as a dare for Red Nose Day, I guess this is what attracted her). I immediately assumed that she was joking, I mean, who in their right mind would ask me out? (Me forgetting that this girl was most certainly not in her right mind) I knew the person doing the asking quite well, so jokingly responded "No, I'm gay". She didn't see it as a joke. She went and told her anxiously waiting friend, who then burst into tears and ran away.

If this wasn't bad enough, it seems that the rumours have spread, and to this day I'm still asked frequently whether or not I'm gay. This means that I don't have a girlfriend, which makes people think that I'm gay. It's a vicious circle. :(
( Incredibly Ordinary Dave needs your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle, Mon 24 Dec 2007, 19:37, 5 replies)

Maybe you are gay because ...
"Think Brian Blessed and Maralyn Manson's illegitimate love-child."

Dude, Marilyn Manson is ... shock .. (wait for it) a ... MAN!

No, really.
(flipper is going to die in a bizarre gardenning accident, Mon 24 Dec 2007, 20:27, closed)

I realise this.
Their child was a result of some very complicated science that I'd love to explain, but I fearyou may not understand.

;)
( Incredibly Ordinary Dave needs your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle, Mon 24 Dec 2007, 21:04, closed)

obligatory needless comment...
you don't have a girlfriend? are you... y'know... gay?



/sorry
( SubCulture Hero ... ... He... .... Comes ... ...., Tue 25 Dec 2007, 22:44, closed)

Wait for it......
By the sound of it, your not likely to be stuck in a vicious circle, more like jammed in a shitty ring!!!

Ah, my coat. Most helpful......
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Wed 26 Dec 2007, 3:02, closed)

?
What's wrong with goths?

How do peircings and bad make up make you look like the ravenous bug blatter beast of Traal?
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Thu 27 Dec 2007, 2:18, closed)