Self-harm with a steering wheel
About 20 years ago, decided to replace the bus-sized steering wheel on my Mini 850 with a sporty faux-leather sports jobby.

Old steering wheel successfully removed, I fitted the new one and went for a quick spin. All was well, exceot that the wheel was off-centre, pointing a bit left when the car was going straight. Not being happy with this state of affairs, I decided to remove the wheel and replace it correctly, except that it wouldn't come off. I tried pulling it, tapping it, wiggling it, cajoling it and threatening it, but it just wouldn't come off the spline shaft.

After 2 hours, I was really losing my temper and had my feet on the dashboard and my arms behind the wheel, pulling it towards me as hard as I could, without actually considering what would happen if it came off...

Which it duly did, enabling me to smash myself in the face with the rim of the wheel, breaking my nose and cutting my lip badly enough to require 3 stitches.

Ah, happy days...
(Toooldforallthis, Thu 27 Dec 2007, 11:08, 3 replies)

Ah yes, the old punch-your-own-lights-out trick
I've punched myself in the face so many times like that. Pulling hard on the tap, tying my shoelaces and yanking on them, tugging on the bull's halter, Transferring a patient from one bed to another, when my hand slips off and I can't stop pulling fast enough to avoid a smack to the nose.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Thu 27 Dec 2007, 14:06, closed)

At least
you got the bugger off. Someone like me would twat himself and still have whatever object firmly stuck down
(MrBlue ding!, Thu 27 Dec 2007, 14:21, closed)

I've done worse :P
Dropped a screwdriver at work, swung my arm to catch it and punched myself in a newly pierced dick.
That was a touch daft
(MarKo K, Sun 30 Dec 2007, 23:37, closed)