I'm sat in birmingham airport.
I've just spent a fiver to chat bollocks with the likes of you.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:09, 9 replies)

oooh
I feel your pain.


Been there, done that, told them to stick their t-shirt up their arse.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:12, closed)

There's fuck all else to do though.
I've already had the obligatory pint. Just to make the whole thing less tedious. I've got an hour to waste.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:13, closed)

top 5 airport fiddles
1. See if you can find a bookies for a bit of pre-flight gamble.
2. Challenge kids 50p to beat there score on Time Crisis.
3. Rob 50p back off child.
4. Have some more obligatory pints. They're obligatory after all.
5. If you're at Heathrow/Gatwick (forget which) find that big conical fountain type thing, and pilfer pennies from it. Or, if feeling charitable, put some in!
(bacontrout got ska, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:25, closed)

Find a nun and have the following conversation.
Nun: You don't believe in God because of Alice in Wonderland?

Gormo: No, "Through the Looking Glass". That poem, "The Walrus and the Carpenter" that's an indictment of organized religion. The walrus, with his girth and his good nature, he obviously represents either Buddha, or... or with his tusk, the Hindu elephant god, Lord Ganesha. That takes care of your Eastern religions. Now the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ, who was raised a carpenter's son, he represents the Western religions. Now in the poem, what do they do... what do they do? They... They dupe all these oysters into following them and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse. I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures ensure the destruction of one's inner-being. Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions... by inhibiting our decisions, out of... out of fear of some... some intangible parent figure who... who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says... and says, "Do it - Do it and I'll fuckin' spank you."

Extra points if you can get her to take the money from her collection can and buy you a pint.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:33, closed)

Ok Mr Loon
And have you ever had that conversation with a nun.
( girlinthehole, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:40, closed)

Not yet.
That bit was stolen from the opening scene of "Dogma". *hanging head in shame*
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:48, closed)

WTF
has Buddhism got to do with mythological figures?
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 20:45, closed)

loon
aaah dogma....love that film
(apo-dap, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 21:52, closed)

Oddly enough I was at Ezezia airport on the 31st
surrounded by nuns...I didn't have the conversation 'cause my Spanish is nowhere near good enough, but I did notice two things: 1) they were all alarmingly young-looking and 2) they were all alarmingly ugly.

Gotta feel sorry for the ugly guys in these catholic countries, who do they cop off with?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 2 Jan 2008, 20:20, closed)