I can think of much, much worse
to share with you than this, but it would make some of the seemingly AWOL Charles Calthorp's stories seem tame, so apologies for getting this one instead.

Mordred aged 8 has his second ever bicycle. A second hand monstrosity made out of (or so it felt) cast iron. No gears (boo) and even worse as far as I was concerned, no bike stand attached to it. Young Mordred wonders whether he can balance the bike perfectly upright so it stands up on its own. He can't; and the bike, which as formerly mentioned weighs probably more than I did at that age comes crashing down towards me. The pedal is of course the first thing to hit the ground; only it doesn't hit the ground. It hits the edge of my foot. Entire weight of cast iron bike on small area of pedal hitting 8 year old foot (protected by a strong layer of that protective substance known as canvas).

Ouch. Wetting myself ouch. No toenails all summer. Toenails might not seem important to those of us not given to painting them. They are. Ouch.

[Sorry for teasing you all by not sharing the dumbest thing I did. But it was awesomely dumb and despite taking place 19 years ago now is something I can't forgive myself for. And the amount of mental bleach you would need after reading it isn't something I can inflict on B3tans who like me are either hungover or in flu recovery mode or both]
( I_Was_Mordred, Mon 31 Dec 2007, 9:00, 2 replies)

You could always create a second account...

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 31 Dec 2007, 10:21, closed)

It's not my anonymity I am trying to protect
a week for a new account to get posting approval ?
( I_Was_Mordred, Mon 31 Dec 2007, 11:52, closed)