She said
"I love you, and I want to move in with you, and maybe marry you and bear your children - but there's one thing you HAVE to do before this relationship goes any further. You simply MUST get rid of all your Fall albums! Sell them, give them to charity, chuck them in the bin - just get rid of the fucking things! I simply cannot STAND the sound of that Marky Mark's voice ONE SECOND longer! So - it's me, or The Fall! Well?"

I simply walked over to my hi-fi, selected HEX ENDUCTION HOUR, and turned the volume up as far as I dared for the health of my floor-standing KEF Q-35s.

I therefore didn't hear what she said as she fled, fortunately.

I wonder why I am still single in my mid-forties?

You won't find anything more ridiculous, than this new profile
razor unit, made with the highest British attention to the
wrong detail, become obsolete units surrounded by hail.
THE CLASSICAL!
THE CLASSICAL!
THE CLASSICAL!
HOTEL AGGRO!
MESSAGE FOR YER! MESSAGE FOR YER!
THE CLASSICAL!
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 20:34, 7 replies)

I'm pretty much a Fall completist and have never been single for more than a few weeks since the mid 1980s.
I suspect the reason you're still single in your mid forties is because you're shit and ugly. No offence like.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 20:56, closed)

Well hello again
my fellow Doctor. And fellow Fall fan!

What's your favourite album? Mine's Bend Sinister.

Have you ever met Mark E. Smith? I have - but that's a story for a future "famous people I have met" QOTW.

Actually I've been to so many Fall gigs I probably know you...
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 21:07, closed)

He once told me to fuck off. I think that's basically the same thing.
I'm the big bloke with the beard who once nearly squashed Frank Skinner's girlfriend during an over-exuberant Hit The North. Charmed to meet you.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 9:23, closed)

MES telling you to fuck off
is probably a sign of affection!

Mine's a pint should we ever meet at a Fall gig.

[Cue cries of hey funboys get a room etc]
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 19:39, closed)

Impressive, but I have once did MASSIVE DRUGS off Mark E Smith's tits.
So, nyer.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 10:18, closed)

Bless
but MES is so thin he hasn't got any tits. Perhaps you've got him confused with Cyril Smith?
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 19:39, closed)

Oh, shit, I've been caught out telling porkies on the internet.
I'm off to kill myself, now (and not for the first time).
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 6 Jan 2013, 21:06, closed)