Hedge fund
I was meant to be a systems developer. Once hired, for reasons that still escape me, I wasn't assigned any work. For 9 months. Neither was my boss, nor the other developer who'd interviewed me. No one could quite tell me why I'd been hired. My own boss' boss would just tell him to "sit tight. something will come up soon".

An average day went thus:

1. Get in at 8
2. Go to canteen and have free breakfast. Fail to make up mind between hash browns or chips. Go for both.
3. Go and buy newspaper.
4. Sit on toilet with newspaper until purged
5. Sit at desk/read b3ta/make crude jokes/throw things at each other
6. Go to canteen and have free lunch. "Ooooh grilled sea bass, don't mind if I do"
7. Arrange a team meeting. In the pub
8. Come back at 5 pissed to get our stuff
9. Go back to the pub

This eventually got a bit tedious, and although we didn't have any work, we were still expected to be there, and at least look as though we may be doing something... so it got to the point where we'd take it in turns taking days off.

Eventually, I quit as I was becoming a fat boozy bastard, and I'd almost forgotten how to do my job (and eventually doing nothing all day isn't as great as it sounds).
( rofl harris, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 9:49, 1 reply)

I had
a job like this early in my (laughs) career. It was wasted on me though because the money was shit and I couldn't afford the booze.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:00, closed)