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This is a question Eccentrics

We all know someone who's a little bit strange - Mum's UFO abduction secret, or the mad Uncle who isn't allowed within 400 yards of Noel Edmonds.

Tell us about your family eccentrics, or just those you've met but don't think you're related to.

(Suggested by sugar_tits)

(, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 19:08)
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Mother was a real eccentric. Her japseye was a constant source of pride for one half of the family, yet a well of unquenchable embarrassment for the other. Her winking aperture tore our family straight down the middle. I, as the middle child, tended to sit upon the fence. Father used to shout, nay, warble in his goatlike childvoice, for me to descend.

“Descend ye, fence perchin’ urchin, from that very fence!” but I was incensed by his pensive tones. His moans, they grated my bones and I, barely able to stay stable lashed out harshly yet sparsely, and struck him, sweet as parsley on a length of wet cod. He smarted though I’d barely started, and wished he’d long departed, but I brought out my slender member.
“Remember,” I wailed, “the sight of this slight and snow-white, delightful vestige, here only for prestige since thou rendered it unmended after pilfering Wilfred for Mother.

Our eyes met. The anger in mine melted. The fear in Father’s warmed. Soon our eyes were indistinguishable, such was the similarity of their temperatures and states of solidity. The only thing to tell them apart was the three foot gap between them as he licked my scrotum and I craned my ropy neck to suckle his anus.

Mother would never feel this kind of love, japseye or not, from either of us, and her eccentricities counted for nought on nights like this.

In your face, Mother!
(, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 22:39, 8 replies)

(, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 22:45, closed)
You, sir,
have no right to say "WTF" when you have already raped my virgin eyes.
(, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 22:47, closed)
you have returned to the qtow
as the old ones foretold.

woo and yay!
(, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 22:46, closed)
nice to see
you back bro....

the old tribe shall rise again.
(, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 22:52, closed)
The second paragraph reads almost like a Gabriel-era Genesis lyric.

(, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 23:44, closed)
So where were you, naughty uncles?
(, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 0:23, closed)
Hello, stusut
I am a QotW troll. I only ever post in response to contributors whom I think need to be taken down a peg or two.

This, though, is brilliant. I fear I may be melting.
(, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 11:24, closed)
You're back! I often dream of you, shaking like a freshly raped dog (to quote one of your finest)

(, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 12:32, closed)

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