Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, BUS MAN!
On a bus from St Andrews to Glasgow on a dreary Sunday night I met a really odd chap. I'd managed to have the seat to myself all the way to Dunfermline but then more people got on and a gangly old man (over 60 easy) in a thick jacket, tea cosy style hat and a visably runny nose sat next to me. He was really polite "can I sit here? You're sure you don't mind" etc. and I carried on reading a book for class the next week. As the bus left Dunfermline he asked what I was reading. I showed him, he asked about my course, university and Glasgow. All perfectly plesant until he started telling me about his own university experience.

Every club he'd joined had been soured by "jumped up little pricks" who forced him to move on to a different club, even now he said the Dunfermline model railway club had turned on him which was why he'd moved to Cumbernauld. This went on for some time. Then he asked if I wanted to hear one of his short stories. I asked if I could just read it to myself but no, they had to be read out loud. The bus was still packed at this point and despite slight protests from me he went ahead and started reading. I seem to remember the story being about a train and a wind up watch. What I remember most clearly though is reading from the word processed pages as he read aloud and seeing him skip over certain paragraphs.

"Hang on", I said. "You're missing out big chunks of the story". He looked at me straight in the eye.
"You're another one aren't you".
"A what" I said, almost hoping he was going to say 'lizard person'.
"A jumped up little prick. Trying to keep me down."

Then he went back to reading aloud. All the way to Cumbernauld.
(cannonfodder fodder for cannons on, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 15:26, 3 replies)

im concerned
i found a copy of a david ike book in my dads house... could this be the beginning
(jordanchaos isn’t just any PeaRoast, this is a M&S PeaRoast, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 15:36, closed)

Everyone is a critic!

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 15:54, closed)

It worries me
that he moved from Dunfermline to Cumbernauld. I think moving from Cumbernauld to almost anywhere else on the planet would be a better move.

(apologies to anyone who lives there)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 16:22, closed)