Fat Lass
Sorry if it's a bit long... first time poster!

On the last day my mate was at Uni, he called me up at lunch time saying he was in the boozer with a couple of lasses and that I should join them... So off I toddle, to sharkeys in Hull, where they do very cheap spirits... Well, I got there and there was my mate, with 2 bit fat biffers, probably with as combined weight of 40-odd stone.
Well, we set about drinking vodka heavily, and as the day wore on, the blonde fat lass seemed to get skinnier and better looking, and by closing time I had my tongue stuck down her throat and in the back of a taxi on the way to my pad...
Well once we got to mine, we got down to business on the sofa, with her on top, pounding away, when I notices a big red patch at the "entrance"... Pissed out of my head, I said to her "urgh you dirty cow, are you on?".

She wasn't.

When she got off, I had blood pissing out of the end of my manhood, and when I set about running around my house, cock in hand, I managed to get blood all over the suite, TV, stereo, walls, kitchen appliances, until I jumped on the worktop and stuck it under the cold tap....

When I had managed to curb the bloodflow, I jumped off the worktop and inspected myself... In her "not laid for years" frenzy, she'd managed to tear my banjo all the way down...

Needless to say, I threw her out. Wrapped a towel around it and went to bed feeling very sorry for myself. I was walking like John Wayne for days afterwards, much to the amusement of my mates...

Oh, and I've always worn my wellies since ;o)
(strangeone456789, Thu 2 Sep 2004, 12:29, Reply)