I used to work in a small bakery.
It was situated in the carpark between a busy, popular pub and a 70's themed nightclub. One of the downsides of such a location was that frequently pissed-up punters going between the 2 would feel the need to smash the plate glass windows up front. Which would set off an alarm and call in the cavalry. Here is one of the ways we tried to tackle the problem.
Anyhoo.
The owner lived a few 'burbs away and I lived about 5 min. away & I often took home the delivery van (otherwise that got vandalised - nothing like finding a broken drivers side window and a steaming pile of shit in the driver's seat when you turn up to load the bread early in the morning!). So of course it was muggins whom the rozzers called upon to attend, get the glazier out, turn off the alarm and sort out if anything was missing.
As this happened with varying frequency I got to know a couple of the local night-shift coppers quite well. One of them was Peter. We'd see each other at our early morning rendezvous and occasionally run into each other for a quiet beer at said pub after I'd finished my deliveries for the day. All in all a nice young bloke who'd decided upon his career for good reasons and was slowly climbing the ladder to betterment - his goal at that stage was no more than to get out of the 2200-0600 shift so he could root his girlfriend more regularly than the odd 'before-she-left-for-work-fumble'.
Then one day he said something that changed my view of him and police generally.
We were standing there at about 0300 one morning waiting for the glazier to arrive when Pete turns to me and says, "Ringo, I fucken hate my job.", "Whaaa?" says I. "I thought you were doing well?"
"Nah -" he says, "think about it. Everywhere I go I'm hated." "We turn up and the person doing something wrong hates us cause we're going to nick them. The victims often don't like us cause they think we're doing a shit job and not out catching ALL the crims." "Even our bosses hate us because as the young 'uns we are either a liability if we do something wrong or they're shit scared that we're gunning for their jobs."
I looked at Pete and pondered. He'd always struck me as a fairly positive person so to hear him spout such things was quite out of the blue.
"Pete," I said "it's just a shit day, we all have 'em. How about my shout after work - I should be done by lunch, providing this fucking glazier pulls his finger out!" "Yeah, no worries." he said, glumly.

Several hours later I find Pete in the pub full of [good] spirits. After getting a shout in I asked him about the change in demeanour. So Pete told me this tale -

"This morning we got a call-out to a b&e and possible sexual assault. We get to the units to find an old dear (about the age of my nan), legs akimbo, crying and some her stuff stolen by some little junky scunge."
Now Ringo," he says. "I really want to catch this little cunt. So we start a patrol and sure enough we find him a few blocks away with the old biddy's bag, wallet and some jewellery having a fucking wank in an alley-way. We've got him bang to rights on pretty much everything including having a tug in public. By the time we've got him back to the lock-up we find out he's got priors for this sort of thing and is a suspect in a couple of other cases around the traps. Fucking BINGO!"
"So..." says Pete, in a quiet and conspiratorial manner, "I ring a mate of mine at the remand centre and tee-up to make sure that this bloke gets put in with some of the bikies in the 'hard' wing. Because we all know how much bikies love perverted granny-bashers don't we." he says with a wink.

I pat him on the back, glad to see my mate's ok and call in another round.

tl;dr? - Cops can be vindictive cunts, just like you and I.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 18 May 2013, 23:34, 18 replies)

the new Ringofyre has you down perfectly

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 19 May 2013, 8:08, closed)

Alright plummie.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 19 May 2013, 8:34, closed)

Only funny.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 19 May 2013, 9:48, closed)

well yeah
Ringofyre peaked with his story about his mum murdering that little black girl. He's never since captured those giddy heights of lol.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 19 May 2013, 10:02, closed)

Alright plummie.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 19 May 2013, 10:25, closed)

Why could not you just say, 'I used to go for the odd pint with this copper'
And leave out the whole bakery back story?

My theory is that you were sucking off this Twinkie cop in return for him letting you off a kerb crawling pinch, and felt the need to create a convoluted back story to prove there was a completely innocent reason for the relationship.
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Sun 19 May 2013, 8:26, closed)

Your extrapolation
is flawed. Somewhat.

Howdy "ringofyre".
Alright?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 19 May 2013, 8:40, closed)

I'm very well Mr. McUglyWife, thanks for asking.
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Sun 19 May 2013, 9:27, closed)

No.
Wait. You're Internal Affairs aren't you?
You guys are supposed to have a warrant.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 19 May 2013, 8:58, closed)

This model is obsolete.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 19 May 2013, 9:34, closed)

Says
"Dr. I Can't Ignore".

Thanks m8 for the new username.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 19 May 2013, 10:23, closed)

have you suffered a traumatic brain injury?
you're like the smelly retarded kid who keeps trying to join in, despite continual beatings and mockery.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sun 19 May 2013, 11:49, closed)

Yes.
Dear.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 19 May 2013, 11:54, closed)

Clicking this.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 19 May 2013, 18:20, closed)

Hey Mr Pot
Meet Mr Kettle he has a grimy arse too.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 21 May 2013, 11:46, closed)

I have nothing against you really Ringo
but whenever I try and read one of your post my eyes just slide away from the words. As part of my job I have to read incredibly boring scientific text and you trump them.... so well done you
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 21 May 2013, 8:51, closed)

So maybe I have a niche.
Training 1st Draft Editors?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 21 May 2013, 10:50, closed)

putting Nytol out of business?

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:44, closed)