Diana
The English Rose herself once came to visit my home town when I was a wee'un. Of course this prestigious event was somewhat popular, and it was highly unlikely that a nipper like myself would have the opportunity to meet the fine lady.

The working class were all secured back behind those temporary metal railing things, so that she couldn't be infected with our germs, but she did have the good grace to come over and shake hands with those at the front.

Here was my chance - if I could get to the front I would get the shake her hand! I would be blessed by royal hand shakeage!

I pushed and fought but all to no avail. No one was budging... but lo! An elderly woman near the front appeared to be looking in my direction with pity in her eyes. "Let him through," she said "he's with me." I wasn't but the ruse did the trick. As I was passed forward Diana was making her way ever closer, diligently shaking the hand of everyone in line. With mere moments to spare, I arrived at the front, climbed on the railing and held out my hand with a stupid big grin on my face.

The bitch skipped me out. I never did forgive her.
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 15:53, Reply)