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This is a question Encounters with Royalty

My good friend Jonathan once had to entertain the Queen whilst she had her portrait painted. The night before he was panicking as he didn't know any clean jokes.

Have you met someone royal? Are you royal? We'd like your story...

(, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 15:06)
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This question is now closed.

The word fadge
Is it still considered rude, or is it a bit playground circa 1975?
(, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 11:50, Reply)
oh yes
favourite swear words and grim phrases would be a great qotw.


and "i'm so hungry i could eat a monkey's miscarriage" never ceases to make people retch - try it and see!!
(, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 11:44, Reply)
11.30 Friday Morning
And where the fuck are the B3tan Royals? It's time to for a new QOTW week chaps.

If they don't change it soon I think they should be B3tan to within an inch of their lives.....

(, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 11:31, Reply)
One day I was shitting in St James' Park and Prince Andrew shouted at me. I cried, but then I laughed, as he was also shitting too, and was just complimenting me on my shit-squat stance.
He then invited me in for tea. But I had to leave after 56 days: not because I was caught wanking into a corgi's toy bone, but because I was really quite TIRED.
(, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 11:10, Reply)
My favorite sweary curse.....
is "arse biscuits". Do you think Chthonic and/or Rob have been arrested or something? Hurry it up chaps I've got things to do!!
(, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 11:08, Reply)
QOTW: What's the longest you've ever had to wait for something?
I remember the time, when Inter-railing, I was in Austria when I got a letter from a friend in Crete. Decided to go there asap so got the next train to Lyon. Arrived fairly late and had to wait until 10am for the next train towards Greece. Spent all night avoiding the weirdos in the station, including the slightly mad arab with a cream-coloured alsation dog.

Edit: It's now 11 friggin' 30 and STILL NO SIGN. Maybe the new Q will be pregnancy stories: my daughter was only two weeks late, they had to give my missus drugs to induce the birth....has anyone got any drugs for Rob/Chthonic????
(, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 10:54, Reply)
i know!
b3ta qotw addiction.

10.44 here in london but it feels later!
(, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 10:44, Reply)
Am i last?
More of a look, than an encounter...
Several years ago while at Harrogate College, one morning i was extreemly hungover walking through town on my way to college.
I thought i would follow the student sterotpye, be lazy and take the 5 minute train to college rather than walk... but no, The Queen and her bloke decided to visit the town to see the local flower gardens.

I arrived to a station full of flag waving wierdos as the royal train pulled up, only to see Philip looking like a bit of a mong staring out the window.
I had to walk to college and was late, bahh humbug!

EDIT: gahhh! 10.48 in yorkshire, still no new QOTW
(, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 10:44, Reply)
Me too. I've been checking every ten minutes since yesterday lunchtime....GET A MOVE ON!!!

Edit: It's 10.45 now!!!
(, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 10:22, Reply)
nothing like an
encounter with royalty, lovely cup of Earl Grey does wonders in the morning.
(, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 10:03, Reply)
it's royally upsetting
when the qotw hasn't changed and i have nothing illicit to read at my desk 'cos i've read all the posts already! please help!
(, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 9:58, Reply)
Encounters with royal jelly
Do encounters with drag queens count on this topic?
(, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 6:08, Reply)
Prince Andrew came to my school
to open up the new technology department. A selected view were made to dress in uniform and perform poems and the like.
The rest of us got stuffed in the gym like sardines and were made to watch on new tv screens and some satellite link up, which just happened to break down. Trusty technology.
(, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 0:09, Reply)
Diana, Princess of all our Hearts drove past our school once.
I was five, and for the hour we spent standing next to the road in the pouring rain waiting for a car to drive past, I developed a deep seated distrust for Royalty that 20-odd years later has yet to wane.

Glad I'm not the grudge-bearing type...
(, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 23:35, Reply)
Ah yes, Columbo
Reminds me of the old Wiley Miller joke about "Who stepped in a pile of lawyer?"
(, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 19:04, Reply)
The King of Jordan plays FPS
I work at a video game company on the West Coast. Imagine our surprise when we were told one day over email "You won't be allowed to park your car here on Monday." Security was locked down and we had a visit from the King of Jordan that day.

Of course we didn't really get to hang out with him since it was business as usual for us plebs while the company bigwigs gave him and his entourage the tour.

The best part was him being such a fan of video games that he'd apparently blown off a meeting with Bush in favour of touring our games installation! The news reports said he'd flown back to Jordan, but we knew better...
(, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 18:52, Reply)
when the queen and prince phillip came to our town a few months back i found myself amongst the throng, whilst trying to get to the bank. all i really wanted to do was cross the road and go about my business, not ever having counted myself as much of a royalist. when the car containing the pair of them eventually went past, i actually found myself waving at them. it was a truly involuntary acction, that ive never been able to explain even to myself this day. i felt disapointed with myself for the rest of the day.
(, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 18:07, Reply)
not me- Tommy Cooper
At a Royal Variety performance he asked the queen whether she liked football. She replied "not really" so he said "can I have your cup final tickets then?"
(, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 16:35, Reply)
Golden comedy moment
About 5 years ago I went to a dinner and reception at Buck House (I used to go quite often - my company was v involved in the DofE Award scheme thingy).. anyway.. There were about 10 of us waiting in a smallish room for Prince Edward to show up. I was chatting to some fat cat (head of Reuters in Europe) as the doors were flung open and two footmen appeared ushering the princely personage in. As the doors started to open I saw Mr Reuters reaching out to help himself to a large handfull of the purple'ish crisps that were in a bowl on a side table. I guess he thought they were those beetroot crisps or something similar. Seconds later, just as the prince walked in, he spluttered and spat the mouthfull of pot-pourri into his hands and all over the carpet. And down his chin. Perfect timing.
(, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 15:38, Reply)
George Rex of Knysna
If anyone cares I am 13 generations removed from George Rex of Knysna, the alleged offspring of George III and Hannah Lightfoot.

Unfortunately there is no way to prove the story (marriage records mysteriously disappearing,etc) although Burkes peerage have been quoted as saying there is no doubt that there is some validity, but no chance of ever changing the line of succession.

It would mean that I have a cousin Chaz and a cousin Liz, it would be nice to be acknowledged.
(, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 15:01, Reply)
Giles was one of my exes mates...

Him and his mates went to Prague and during some piss up got seperated...The area around them was cordonned off and Giles spotted his mate across the way, and so called to him...

This strange looking fellow started coming over to Giles, to which he said...

"Not you, I don't want you, I want PHIL, PHIL MATE, PHIL!"

To the large inebriated sod behind him...

Bloody Prince Phillip, everythings him him him.
(, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:22, Reply)
oh yeah
the duchess of kent is a trustee for the charity where i work - i pick up the main office phone. she makes the effort to call in herself (rather than have a flunkie do it) from time to time.

apologies for this inanely boring post
(, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 10:07, Reply)
I used to work on the computer network for the MOD, and of course we have a 24 hour helpdesk. Obviously not manned by the most highly paid people.
One night the two guys manning the desk recieved a call from an irrrate Prince Andrew who had a problem. (he worked in MOD main building at the time).

"Can I take your name please"
" Yes This is the Duke of York"
" and can you tell me your surname please "
"I said, this is the Duke of York "
" Yes, but you Must have a surname, havnt you got one ?"
"No, I am the Duke of York, Prince Andrew"
" I'll just put down York then"

beggers belief
(, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 7:08, Reply)
Dad once met Prince Edward
By complete chance.

In true aussie style wearing nothing but a singlet, pair of thongs and all-too-short-shorts.

Undeterred, he sauntered on up, offered a handshake and a big "G'DAY!".

(, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 3:18, Reply)
Daddy the soldier
My mum and dad once got to go to one of the Queen's Garden Parties as my dad was one of the military blokes who stand by the doors as T'Royal Family come out.

Apparently Prince Edward has rather nasty BO. Fact
(, Wed 9 Aug 2006, 23:01, Reply)
Ole Charlie Boy
At the tender age of three, I was patted on the head by the pompous Prince of Wales, Prince Charles.

He was a git, he patted me far too hard. That explains my oddness at times.

(, Wed 9 Aug 2006, 22:56, Reply)
My twopenn'orth...
I saw jeccytastic's mate too.
He was thick!

S'pose I'd better add my story about royalty.

Back in the 1980s, me and three fellow anarchists (we looked like a cross between the Sex Pistols and Swampy) went to protest outside the South Africa embassy in Trafalgar Square about the continued dentention of Nelson Mandela etc.

We had some time to kill afterwards, so we ate some mushrooms and went up to have a look at the palace. It was getting dark when we arrived.
As we stood admiring the architecture, the gates opened and a RR pulled out behind a police motorbike.
We waved to the occupant, who did a double take before regaining composure and waving regally.

It was Princess Anne.

I'll never forget her double take. It was class.
(, Wed 9 Aug 2006, 17:51, Reply)
Your story has the ring of truth. A friend of mine in the army had his base visited by Prince Phillip and his job was to trudge a couple of miles up the streams that ran through the base and clear them of leaves in case any floated past while HRH was there.

I saw the Queen when she opened Walsall Art Gallery. I waved a union flag and shouted "Gawd bless you, yer majesty! And Gawd bless Prince Phillip too!" which caused some laughter in the crowd. Liz was on top form, shaking hands and all that, but Phil stood at the back away from the crowds looking like someone had shat on his cornflakes that morning.
(, Wed 9 Aug 2006, 16:41, Reply)
I was a waiter
and did a contract weekend working at Beaufort, Prince Charlie's polo club. I ended up serving the twunt canapes and wine, which some cock in a suit (presumably a minder) said was "corked" and demanded I took it back.

Cue going away and coming back with the same bottle three minutes later and the wanker lapped it up. Didn't speak to Charles though.
(, Wed 9 Aug 2006, 16:12, Reply)
I grew up in Minchinhampton
in Gloucestershire, a shit quaint little village right next to Princess Anne's sprawling estate. I'd often see the lady in question driving around in a huuuuge 4x4. I was driving my E reg Peugeot 309 (old skool!) down a narrow lane when she comes thundering down the other way and comes to a skidding halt just inches from me. She had a passing place about 10m behind her, mine was about 40m, and she was signalling me to back up!

The cheek of the bitch. Anyway, I sat there just glaring at her for about 30 seconds waiting for her to move, which she finally did. When I drove past her she muttered "wanker" so I gave her the bird. Serves her right.
(, Wed 9 Aug 2006, 16:09, Reply)

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