Army Hospital
When I was a Squaddie I was off sick for a few weeks. We were visited by Prince Charles in hospital. The sergeant major gave us all a warning.
“If he asks what’s wrong with you be honest”, he said.
“If he asks what the cure is, be honest”, he continued.
“But if he asks what your ambition is, tell him you want to get back to active service to serve her majesty”. He insisted.

Well I was third in line so Charlie asked the first guy, “What’s wrong with you?”
“Piles”, replied the Squaddie.
“And what is the cure?” asked Charles
“A good scrub around with a toothbrush dipped in Dettol.” replied the Squaddie.
“Have you any ambition?” asked Charles
“Yes”, said the Squaddie, “to get back to active service to serve her majesty”.

Charles then approached the guy next to me (second in line)
What’s wrong with you?” asked Charles
“Gonorrhoea”, replied the Squaddie.
“And what is the cure?” asked Charles
“A good scrub around with a toothbrush dipped in Dettol.” replied the Squaddie.
“Have you any ambition?” asked Charles
“Yes”, said the Squaddie, “to get back to active service to serve her majesty”.

It was my turn next.

What’s wrong with you?” asked Charles
“Bleeding gums”, I replied.
“And what is the cure?” asked Charles
“A good scrub around with a toothbrush dipped in Dettol.” I replied.
“Have you any ambition?” asked Charles
“Yes”, I said, “to get the toothbrush before those two dirty bastards!”
(hal9001, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 18:59, Reply)