Royal Family in Sniper Drama
In 1997 our school opened a new sports hall. Of course, for these sorts of events you need somebody important to officially cut the tape, and declare the building open.

So, a list of sporting greats was chosen, with Ian "Beefy" Botham topping the list. So, the school approached his agent to book him. On being told that it would cost £8000 for a day, they decided that really it should be a member of the royal family, as befits our school (and for the fact that they do it for free!)

So, the big day arrived. The bomb squad had been stationed in our school for most of the early morning. Sniffer dogs had done their round (catching many a pupil out for a crafty fag). The whole school waited patently for the arrival of our Royal visitor (Duchess of Kent - the one who used to always be at Wimbledon). She wasn't arriving by car, oh God no! She was arriving by helicopter!

All the pupils formed a giant circle as the helicopter landed, and the Duchess clambered out of it. She proceeded to meet the high and mighty (Headmaster and Governors), and to speak to the pupils. However, in the background, there some movement by the Royal Protection Officers.

High up in one of the boarding house, they had spotted a sniper who had taken up position with a clear line of sight of the Duchess. With swift thought and well-practiced manoeuvres, they sprinted to the boarding house, broke down the door, and run upstairs to the room where the sniper was.

As with all security services, surprise is their main weapon. They battered down the door to where the sniper had positioned he, and charged in, weapons at the ready.

This is where they found the Head of Drama, recording the events outside with his video camera. To say that he got a fright might be an underestimation! The Royal Protection Officers, apologised, explained the situation and left. I don't think he recorded any more of it!
(deane1980 - I wasn't working at:, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 11:57, Reply)