Motorcycle Wet Weather Tram Death (nearly...)
My beautiful home town is blessed with a wonderful thing running through the streets and in some places not through the streets: trams. These large majestic beasts carry happy commuters to their destinations along shiny tracks sunken into the tarmac. In no way did I ever envisage that these tracks could present a problem if say it was raining and I was riding my motorbike across the tracks and I had to brake suddenly…

Well that did happen and a tram happened to be right behind me. I was flipped off the bike back towards the approaching tram which slammed on the anchors. It came to a juddering stop roughly 16 inches away from severing my head and shoulders (of my body – not my shampoo). Strangely as the bike flipped me off the first thought through my mind was “Shit, I’m going to be late for work!” rather than “Arrgh! I’m going to die!!”
The tram driver burst out of the cab a face full of wide-eyed terror. He was yelling “SHIT MAN! ARE YOU OKAY?! WHAT THE FUCK!?! DO YOU NEED AN AMBULANCE?!” But what I really needed was some clean underpants. Him too, probably.

After dusting myself off and managing to get the bike back up on the wheels I found that the handlebars were a bit bent and one mirror had smashed but she started up again and I wasn’t even late for work! I did find however that the quality of my work was somewhat lacking for the rest of the day and I made a lot of mistakes(shock) and there was some fluid leaking from a hole in my arm (blood).

Funnily enough I managed to crash it again the very next day when the brake cable that had been damaged in the tram crash snapped…

I’m still alive though.
(Phelpsy Bollocks trapped behind radiator since, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 21:03, Reply)