quite a few, so i'll keep them brief
7 years old, run over on the way to the summer playscheme. recovered quickly, but was pissed off about dropping my lollipops.

8 years old, hooked unconscious out of the deep end of the pool in rhyl sun centre. didn't stop me getting back in again, but i did avoid the big pool.

15 years old, accidental overdose of diet pills, which i'm sure the doctor shouldn't have given to someone that age. speeding my tits off for 3 days, binned the rest of them.

16 years old, pissed, walked over a bridge spanning a dual carriageway on the wrong side of the railings, just to annoy my mate. literally 2 inches of concrete between me and certain splat. i slipped, but managed to right myself. i'm a stupid cunt when i'm drunk.

19 years old, near-fatal alcohol poisoning from drinking whisky that i didn't know at the time was homebrew. stomach pump, mother of all hangovers and vivid hallucinations is what i got for being a twat. avoided alcohol for 2 years and haven't touched whisky since.

20 years old, along with 2 friends, saved from carbon monoxide poisoning by a routine gas check. not one of us had realised that the reason for us feeling ill for a week was that there was a gas leak.

21 years old, had a weird feeling about going to hospital for an operation. refused to go. found out that a broken pipe had lead to the ceiling panel above the bed i would have been in being soaked to the point where it collapsed onto the bed. fortunately, nobody was in it as i cancelled last minute.

30 years old, car crash. i'd have been fine if i'd been wearing a seatbelt. unfortunately, i was so fat at that point* that the belt wouldn't fit me. lost quite a bit of blood and still have a harry potter-esque scar on my forehead.

34 years old, thought i was having an attack of IBS. for some reason, i decided not to try and sleep it off, but to phone an ambulance. was immediately admitted and prepped for emergency surgery, as my colon was severely herniated and about to burst.

it's a good job i'm fucking stubborn, isn't it?

*this was just the kick up the arse i needed to finally lose weight.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 22:52, 2 replies)

That brings you up to 9 Smash
be careful out there.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 23:51, closed)

there have been others
i'm better than any bloody cat! ;)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 Aug 2010, 14:59, closed)