Feck
My ex decided to take the weekend when my new girlfriend was down as an opportunity to try to commit suicide, so she stuffed herself full of sleeping pills and collapsed on the floor of her flat, before sending me text messages like "Whx dotn yuo come adn pikc me up off teh folor? I jsut wnat ot go to bed."

Thanks, love. One 999 call, one stomach-pump and 24 hours later, she realised that that was not in fact the best course of action to be pursuing at that precise moment in time. Or, indeed, ever.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 21:33, Reply)