I could have been deaded!
If instead of getting dressed and going to work this morning I shot myself in head, followed by drinking poison all the while getting stung by killer bees.

Phew, what a morning that wasn't.
(Free pens 100, 101, 102 is still counting on, Tue 24 Aug 2010, 14:17, 4 replies)

I have mornings where that's a hard choice, too.
Get up...commit extravagant suicide...get up...commit extravagant suicide...

Generally I opt for coffee.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 24 Aug 2010, 14:33, closed)

wanking may help.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Aug 2010, 14:58, closed)

Wanking is for wankers.
Besides, it's also a great way to send yourself back to sleep.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 24 Aug 2010, 16:53, closed)

The self-satisfied slumber Mr Free pens calls it
I always know as he has those guilty 'cum on to bed eyes'. Plus when I get home from work the sheets are in a pile in the corner of the bedroom.
(Free pens 100, 101, 102 is still counting on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 12:16, closed)