Wabbit! Eeeek!
A few years back, I was working in the wilds of North Wales, at an old fashioned car dealership. Everyone had been there for years, there were people who had only ever worked there since leaving school, that sort of place. There was a cute young girlie working there in a sort of ‘spare bod’ capacity. Enthusiastic, hardworking, conscientious and naïve. Definitely not the sort of person to expose to me, especially as she was based just outside my office. Mwahahahaha…

Chatting generally as you do, she found out that on occasion I went out and attempted to shoot inoffensive fluffy animals and then eat them. Cue much ‘Ewwwwww’ from the McDonald scoffing bint. SO for a while I would now and then attempt to gross her out with tales of my hunter-gatherer prowess. A customer had even left a shotgun cartridge in a courtesy car (no biggie, ‘twas a rural business) and she had given it to me. Naturally I inscribed it with the motto “xxxx’s bunny murder” or similar and informed her that next time I went out bunny-blatting I would knock one over for her, in graphic detail.

Time passes. I get an invite to spend the weekend in a veritable orgy of missing rabbits at close range and swearing. So, on the Friday, I skew the conversation around to organic food (she’s all in favour) and how the most organic thing you could eat was wild food. I promise faithfully to bring back an ex-bunny, so she could enter the world of the true carnivore. Slightly worried now, and a little green, she leaves for the weekend, glancing nervously over her shoulder at my no doubt demonic grin as I casually hold up ‘her’ cartridge.

Monday morning. She bounces in, all bright-eyed and bushy tailed, to find that I have for once turned up on time. With a cheery greeting she trots over to her desk… to find a pair of rabbit ears sticking out of a tesco carrier bag that quite obviously contains a deceased flopsy. I’ve never actually heard anyone scream at such a pitch that only dogs could hear it before, although a car alarm did go off and I believe she may have wet herself slightly before barricading herself in the ladies.

After dispatching a female to entice her out, trembling and gibbering slightly, and with the title of ‘COMPLETE BASTARD’ once again honourably earned, I present her with her rabbit.

£4.99. Toys ‘R’ Us.

I’d been clay pigeon shooting.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 15:33, 4 replies)

...mopsy and cottontail
you are an evil genius - boss looking at me oddly now, for laughing at work!

*clicky*
(twiceydrinker hmmm is it pint time?, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 15:43, closed)

*click*
Made all the better by the fact the punchline was just off the bottom of my screen when I read it!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 15:50, closed)

Hahahaha!
*click*

I have to remember this for when I get a job. Hopefully I'll be as lucky as you and get some kind of rabbit-loving female working in proximity to me.
( Hokerou, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 16:02, closed)

Love it!
I too, look forward to the day that I can use this one :D
(asmodean had too much christmas spirit on.., Thu 13 Dec 2007, 20:33, closed)