I was lucky enough to retire in my mid-30's and soon found something to do with my spare time
consumer terrorism - it turns out nobody cares what you take into stores, only what you take out, so I started messing with products and sneaking them back onto the shelves.

It started with a simple korma for vindaloo swap in sainsers but quickly degenerated into collecting dead heel skin, enough to fill a parmesan shaker. Before I knew it I was swapping Dulux Magic Emulsion "Goes on pink, dries white" with actual pink paint, then assorted larvae for rice in those frozen 'stir fry' packets. There were fake cards that said "Hope you die soon" on the inside of otherwise normal Get Well Soon cards and "Hurry up and die, I've already spent my inheritance" inside 70/80th birthday cards etc.

There were so many daft things making their way out of my mind for 3 years.

Unwound toilet rolls stating "You are being watched" half way through then resealed, no amount of prank prep was too much, even sending local random people letters telling them they'd won a timeshare in portugal, keys collectable on arrival at the resort.

Ultimately I even got bored of this so got back in touch with some old pals and started doing the odd day's work to keep me busy and the pranks have stopped, for now.
(Chopper3, Sun 16 Dec 2007, 11:37, 2 replies)

Yes
Of course you did.
(mark schmark, Mon 17 Dec 2007, 10:41, closed)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Agreed.

I call bollocks on this one.
(Sir Harrington Titsmith disgraced himself on, Mon 17 Dec 2007, 14:57, closed)