Just remembered another one.
Not particularly evil, but it did nearly end with tragic results, so here it is.

When I worked in sales, I had a colleague, Jimbo, who was a fully paid-up member of the Kill All Gays Society. Any kind of hint of homosexuality in anything you said to him was rebuffed brutally (he'd probably 'splode if he ever saw the stuff we say to each other on the board).

Anyway, one of the customers he had to deal with was a chap called Dave, who was most definitely gay - not camp, but very much out.

Anyway, one day Dave asked Jimbo to accompany him to a works party - nothing too sinister, just a bit of a drinks and bite to eat to thank various suppliers for their help through the year. Jimbo had no real option but to say yes to this, as the guy was a good customer and didn't want to upset him.

Come the day of the party, I phoned the customer and told him that sadly Jimbo had phoned in sick, but he had an appointment with Dave in the diary - I feigned ignorance of what the appointment was, and just apologised that he wouldn't be able to make it.

So far so good.

The next day though, we organised a single red rose and a card that said "Sorry to miss you last night, hope to see you soon. Dave xx" and got it delivered to work by courier.

Jimbo went through the fucking roof and stormed out of the office in an absolute fury. For some reason, everyone turned to me and said "Stop him Ken!" so I nipped out the other door and caught up with Jimbo in the car park just before he got into his car. He was white with rage, and although when I told him it was a joke he said he knew, he was tucking a claw hammer into his jacket.

If I hadn't stopped him I really think he might have been on the way to go and smash Dave's skull...

I'm still waiting for the retribution to this O_o
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 17 Dec 2007, 10:30, 8 replies)

Homophobes...
...are the worst kind of closet case. True homophobes like this plonker, anyway. In most cases, it's based more on disgust than fear so calling it a phobia is a bit of a misnomer. Those markedly less dangerous types just need not to dwell on it so much and they'll be dandy. To paraphrase QAF, 'Just don't think about the arse thing' ;)

The true 'phobes though - they're a problem. So shit-scared of how they themselves feel about this stuff that they're capable of knee-jerk that can shake the world, and people can get hurt in the wake.

Summary; he wants cock, but is too scared to admit it to himself. Pity you're not still working with him - you could have run that by him to see what he did - I love doing that to them ;)
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Mon 17 Dec 2007, 10:55, closed)

I agree
Definitly a case of 'methinks the man doth protest too much'.
( girlinthehole, Mon 17 Dec 2007, 11:05, closed)

.
Nah, maybe he already had some and didn't like the way his arse bled, or perhaps he just doesn't like the taste of pillow.

Although anyone calling themself Jimbo....? He might as well call himself Gaymo.
(Rsoles, Mon 17 Dec 2007, 13:05, closed)

Hello there Mr Soles
His name was actually Jamie, we called him Jimbo - everyone had nicknames, which is where Professor Kenny Martin came from =)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 17 Dec 2007, 13:24, closed)

Maybe
He just didnt like gays?

Where is it written that everyone has to accept people for who they are? And if not OMG JOO ARE TEH CLOSET GAYER!
(steh30, Mon 17 Dec 2007, 16:49, closed)

steh30
The fact that he hates gays so much does speak volumes. Regardless of how repulsive you might find the idea of gay sex, why would you give a monkey's what consenting adults do in private?
( Bob Todd whee, Mon 17 Dec 2007, 18:35, closed)

....
The fact that he got a single red rose, and a note with kisses on, brought it out from behind closed doors, and into his face. Like a red rag to a bull.

I dont agree with taking a claw hammer to someone for being gay, but obviously the guy didnt agree with gayness being shoved in his face like that.
(steh30, Mon 17 Dec 2007, 21:59, closed)

I don't see what the big deal is with homophobes
It's the way they choose to live their lives, the ones that aren't harming anyone should go as un-ridiculed as the gays themselves want to be. Hippocricy I say.
(MarKo K, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 1:00, closed)