Million Pound Phone Bill and Dirty Macs
I've got two - both quite evil, decide for yourselves which is worst.

My now ex-girlfriend used to be really bad with money - spending what she didn't have and then expecting me to help her out. She once left her mobile phone on the table in the pub unattended - I copied a friend's phone number into her phone under the entry "ORANGE" (the name of her network provider). She didn't know this guy... and wouldn't recognise the voice.

A few hours later, her phone rings.

"Who's calling? Orange? That's a bit weird."

My friend talks to her for a good few minutes, explaining to her how her call charges had escalated for ever more ridiculous reasons ("We'll have to charge £10 a minute for this call alone"), leaving her in tears thinking that her phone bill had reached 6 figures. Evil, but made a point.

The one I still feel a bit guilty about happened years ago, most importantly before eBay existed, and people used to sell stuff in the free-ads of my local newspaper.

There was a really stuck-up kid in my class at school - very snooty, and thought himself more intelligent than he was. Let's call him Frank - it's close enough. After an incident where he told me and friends we could expect to be binmen in the future, I decided to get revenge.

I put an advert in the free-ads. One that would cause maximum embarrassment, get a lot of calls and ensure that of those callers would all be a bit weird. The advert read:

"50 Adult Magazines for sale. £5 the lot. Ask for Frank. [Phone number]"

This was just before internet usage was widespread, so cheap porn mags were likely to generate a few enquiries.

Advert gets printed, despite the application being handwritten in a 13-year-old's scrawl. Except they miss something CRUCIAL. They don't print "Ask for Frank", just the phone number.

Frank's mum received over 30 phone calls from wheezing dirty macs that evening, all looking for bargain price porn, and then getting even more excited when a woman answered the phone. Two things I didn't know: Frank's dad was working away from home for three months. And their phone number was ex-directory... I had brought it to the attention of every pervert in the town. His mother was at best scared shitless by the calls, at worst... probably thought she was going to be the victim of a sex crime.

I felt really bad. Really, really bad. And I was suspended from school, and in trouble with the police.

In a strange twist, we became friends after that - maybe he'd realised he was being a bit of a cock before - and we ended up living together for a couple of years. I regularly had to avoid eye contact with his mother when she visited.

But it's still funny.



No apologies for length, but I did apologise to his mum.
(Sloppy Giuseppe, Mon 17 Dec 2007, 18:24, 2 replies)

Hahaha that's ace!
The first is more evil, the second is more "out of hand", really.
( ClanSoul, Mon 17 Dec 2007, 18:30, closed)

the first one is excellent
i bet it was tricky keeping a straight face!
( Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Mon 17 Dec 2007, 19:32, closed)