In my office at home...
I have a dry-wipe notice board / calendar. Due to my being a forgetful twuntstick (in other words…a man) I need it to remind me of appointments, meetings, gigs, birthdays…you get the idea.

When a mate of mine (whom we shall call Furious ‘D’, for ‘tis the name the cock-itch answers to) pops round my house, he inspects my office for general gadgettery that he can steal, and then always makes an effort to write an additional defamatory entry to my notice board.

I usually laugh it off…then wipe it off…if you know what I mean.

One time, however, he really outdid himself. It went something like this (edited version):

Monday: Finally realise that I am a gayer
Tuesday: Come out of the closet to world
Wednesday: Attempt to hack off own tadger with rusty kitchen knife after realising that I no longer need my own cock.
Thursday: Book sex-change op.
Friday (night): Go out cottaging / cruising for other gayers
Saturday: Arrange date to get fucked up the arse by a huge Jamaican man called Delroy
Sunday: Book into hospital to sew up severe anal damage
Monday: Come to the conclusion that life is not worth living and change will to give all decent stuff to Furious ‘D’
Tuesday: Kill self.

Now I thought this was quite funny and left it on the board, acknowledging his efforts.

Unfortunately, I forgot about it, and when I finally needed to use the board again it occurred to me that as the time had passed by, the calendar had been seen by pretty much everyone who had visited my house over that period…and that means quite a few people…from family to friends to regular guests.

Nobody said anything.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 18 Dec 2007, 14:44, 4 replies)

Why would anybody say anything....
Surely this is par for the course in your life.
( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 14:49, closed)

Oops - you got me!

In my haste to write the post, I accidentally wrote down entries from my actual diary, instead of the ones my mate wrote.

ah well.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 18 Dec 2007, 14:51, closed)

haha that's excellent
sounds like the sort of shit I would do :)

Edit: Writing on the board that is, not cutting my own nob off and go cottaging.
( Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 16:02, closed)

.
All I thought while reading was "That's a busy fucking week!"
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 17:07, closed)