Public Schoolboys
I just went out foraging for a sandwich and on my way back to the office had to endure one of those cringing moments where you and a colleague recognise each other from about 100 yards away only neither of you know quite what to do with yourselves.

(I mean, do you maintain eye contact and grin like a lunatic for the entire time it takes for you to pass each other, or do you pretend you haven't seen them and then hideously overcompensate ("HI! How are you! Sandwiches eh? Super!! Well, lovely to see you! Bye!" which becomes even more embarrassing when you see each other again at the photocopier not 20 minutes later.)

Anyway, not only was it a colleague, it was Posh Tim, the new boy, who it is now clear, has never even been allowed near a woman, let alone inside the blast radius - for when I smiled merrily at him and said a bright, cheery "Hello! Lovely day isn't it!" he could only manage to stammer "Lunch!" at me before skittering away like a nervous baby deer from a cruel and savage hunter with a particularly shiny knife.

All those thousands of pounds spent on learning how to play rugger and wear tweed properly and not even a nice polite "hello" - honestly! I can only imagine he has been indoctrinated with a passion for pudding, buggery and emotional repression like all the rest of them...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 29 Oct 2007, 13:38, 5 replies)

The line
"who it is now clear, has never even been allowed near a woman, let alone inside the blast radius" I cant even describe the joy that sentence produced in me!!!
( The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Mon 29 Oct 2007, 14:34, closed)

@magic of chutney
Why thank you! How kind! Glad you enjoyed it.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 29 Oct 2007, 14:46, closed)

From the Meaning of Liff
CORRIEARKLET (n.)

The moment at which two people approaching from opposite ends of a long
passageway, recognice each other and immediately pretend they haven't. This
is to avoid the ghastly embarrassment of having to continue recognising each
other the whole length of the corridor.

CORRIECRAVIE (n.)

To avert the horrors of corrievorrie (q.v.) corriecravie is usually
employed. This is the cowardly but highly skilled process by which both
protagonists continue to approach while keeping up the pretence that they
haven't noticed each other - by staring furiously at their feet, grimacing
into a notebook, or studying the walls closely as if in a mood of deep
irritation.

CORRIEDOO (n.)

The crucial moment of false recognition in a long passageway encouter.
Though both people are perfectly well aware that the other is approaching,
they must eventually pretend sudden recognition. They now look up with a
glassy smile, as if having spotted each other for the firt time, (and are
particulary delighted to have done so) shouting out 'Haaaaaallllloooo!' as
if to say 'Good grief!! You!! Here!! Of all people! Will I never. Coo. Stap
me vitals, etc.'

CORRIEMOILLIE (n.)

The dreadful sinking sensation in a long passageway encounter when both
protagonists immediately realise they have plumped for the corriedoo (q.v.)
mutch too early as they are still a good thirty yards apart. They were
embarrased by the pretence of corriecravie (q.v.) and decided to make use of
the corriedoo because they felt silly. This was a mistake as corrievorrie
(q.v.) will make them seem far sillier.

CORRIEVORRIE (n.)

Corridor etiquette demans that one a corriedoo (q.v.) has been
declared, corrievorrie must be employed. Both protagonists must now
embellish their approach with an embarrassing combination of waving,
grinning, making idiot faces, doing pirate impressions, and waggling the
head from side to side while holding the other person's eyes as the smile
drips off their face, until with great relief, they pass each other.

CORRIEMUCHLOCH (n.)

Word describing the kind of person who can make a complete mess of a
simple job like walking down a corridor.
( The Coast Of Yemen, Mon 29 Oct 2007, 14:52, closed)

Hey!
I was going to post the definitions (various) of corridor etiquette...

I found it on some site ages ago and have been dying for an opportunity to try and appear funny... only to find I've been beaten.

Oh well, have to try harder next time...

And Chutney, I have my eye on you!
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Mon 29 Oct 2007, 16:05, closed)

pudding?
*unlurks*
As a public school boy I must assure you, we in no way like pudding, in fact all food here is pretty terrible and we rely on our local McDs.
sadly the rest is true, we have never seen a woman, having been seperated from our mothers (what we call \"life-givers\") at birth and subjected to bizzare homo-erotic rituals nightly.
*returns to his skulking in the shadows of the B3ta world*
(ored, Mon 29 Oct 2007, 20:18, closed)