Drugs are bad, mmkay???
Not me, but a close mate. A mate who happens to be a drug dealer. Not a schiller of random 16ths, but someone who rarely has less than a few kilos in his house... or on his person. A pro, in other words. While these days he sticks quite religiously to weed, our story takes place back in the days (2001) when he was into coke, before it was a matter of strict necessity to possess a gun in order to be a coke dealer.

Like other mid-to-large scale dealers I know, his social circle largely consists of either customers or other dealers. I'll also point out at this point that, despite what you may assume, this story involves no exaggeration - you'll have to trust me on that one.

So on this occasion our hero was pottering about his flat one morning - probably having not slept - when one of his dealer mates happened by. The man in question had just obtained a large quantity of crack cocaine on credit. Several thousand pounds worth, in fact. The pair decided to have a pipe to take the edge off while the telly blared on in the background.

A couple of pipes in, both were beginning to reach the advanced stages of fucked-ness when the news came on. Apparently, someone had had a rather serious accident in New York, flying their plane into the Twin Towers...

You can guess the date, can't you?

As the pie-eyed pair digested this news with another pipe, a secomd plane went into the towers, and it became clear that this wasn't an accident. Their reaction?

They decided civilisation as we know it was coming to an end, and realised that therefore they wouldn't have to pay for the crack.

By the time they had gotten very high indeed for a considerable period, then eventually succumbed to sleep (some days later), and subsequently reawoken in a more sober state, they realised three things quite quickly:

1) Civilisation had survived largely intact, if somewhat more nervous than before
2) They had made their way through two grands worth of crack
3) There was a very strong possibility that this would get them both killed.

Postscript: Due to an unusually understanding dealer and their willingness to work extremely hard over the next month flogging naughty substances to pay off their debt, both survived to tell the tale...
(rampants, Thu 13 May 2010, 17:16, 10 replies)

Nice
Makes you wanna goe to NA just to hear the shares ;-)
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Thu 13 May 2010, 17:44, closed)

Shurely...
If he was a medium-to-large scale dealer, getting hold of £2,000 wouldn't have been that hard? I call bullshit, and vicarious 'look how many drugs I took!' fail archive material.
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Thu 13 May 2010, 19:18, closed)

Not so much a Drugs Bore as a Drugs Liar.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 14 May 2010, 13:50, closed)

It's not
'a matter of strict necessity to possess a gun in order to be a coke dealer'. What utter rot.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 May 2010, 23:42, closed)

Oh now.
His girlfriend really WAS a supermodel.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 14 May 2010, 9:03, closed)

I really hope this story isn't true.
Crack is seriously nasty shit and anyone dealing it is a tosspot. I have seen the results of crack addiction and it is devastating.

In the unlikely event that this story is true you should be more selective about who your friends are. If it isn't true then it needs more Honda Accord.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 14 May 2010, 9:17, closed)

Well...
a) the story is 100% true, no exaggeration. If you choose not to believe it, that's your lookout, I just happen to know the guy well enough to know it is definitely true.
b) It may not be a matter of strict necessity for EVERY coke dealer to possess a shooter, but trust me that for this guy to have continued doing what he was doing on the scale he was doing it, he had to choose either to get one or get out. He's been doing it for a long time and is getting on, and decided he didn't need the aggro. Plus he was by that point too well known to risk continuing without some personal protection, and it was certainly fucking his health.
c) It's true that it isn't hard for a dealer on this scale to get hold of a couple of grand cash; but this would entail being in debt to someone else for most of that money. Making a couple of grand profit, however, especially in a short period of time cos you're in fear of your kneecaps, is NOT easy - it takes a hell of a lot of running around. If it was that easy, everyone would be doing it.
d) In point of fact the guy who the story is about happens to be one of the nicest people I know, he just happens to have taken more drugs than Keith Richards and William Burroughs put together. He has suffered - in terms of both stress and his health, not to mention some of the situations he has found himself in - for his life decisions, but he's an unusually nice geezer and very fair. That said, of course crack is effin nasty shit, but the coke and crack scenes round these parts have defo got a lot nastier in the last ten years anyway.
(rampants, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:20, closed)

you forgot one...
e) it is bullshit and you're either very gullible or a liar yourself.
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:30, closed)

Freakonomics was right
A full month of intensive dealing earned them a whole thousand pounds each? Wow. That's almost as much as they'd have earned working the check outs at Tesco.
(ubergeekian, Sun 16 May 2010, 22:14, closed)

A "couple of grands worth of crack" is a few ounces in today's money. In 2001, it was probably less than that.

Mid-to-large scale? Not a chance.

A pro? Ok then.

A pipe to take the edge off? Seriously, what planet are you on? Crack does not take the edge off anything, unless by "take the edge off" you mean: "turn into a psychotic maniac with a penchant for chasing cars in your underwear and cutting off your own electricity supply because you think that the nice old woman upstairs is (a) running a brothel and (b) stealing your electricity."

I think you might be exaggerating a tad.
(god_is_a_ghoti Carpe Deum., Mon 17 May 2010, 13:08, closed)