A lot of money spent not having sex
One of my old mates, known him for years and years, is a financial black hole. He's circled the drain of bankruptcy at least once to my certain knowledge. Not entirely sure how he escaped in all honesty. He's generous (extravagant, really) to a fault and women and booze are his major, major weaknesses.

During one such episode of profligacy he owed his brother about 1500 quid in rent. So, he withdrew the cash from the bank on a Friday, thinking that he would pay his brother when he saw him the following day. Then he went out on the piss. Then he went to a lap dancing club.

The following morning, 1500 quid down on the previous night, he discovered a receipt in his wallet for a further 800 quid he then remembered leaving the club to withdraw, before returning to piss that up the wall too.

2300 quid and he didn't even get his dick wet. He could have had Belle de Jour herself for that. Hell, he could probably have had Billie Piper... at the same time.
(Dr. Scambolic, Thu 13 May 2010, 20:20, 12 replies)

I think the only possible comment under the circumstances is
EPIC FAIL.
( .Yeti., Thu 13 May 2010, 20:25, closed)

I don't understand the point of lapdancing clubs
you wouldn't go to an expensive restaurant and pay to look at the food
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 May 2010, 10:28, closed)

hahaha
Very true, mind if I steal your analogy??
(SKJack, Fri 14 May 2010, 10:59, closed)

Go for it
(it's probably the most intelligent and witty thing I have ever said)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 May 2010, 11:53, closed)

I second this!
...the bit about it being a great analogy, I mean. You should perhaps get it trademarked.

*steals it*
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Sat 15 May 2010, 8:14, closed)

I've always said this
Might as well have a night in with a few filthy DVDs. At least then you can knock one out without being grabbed round the neck by a 7' gorilla.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 14 May 2010, 11:11, closed)

Oh good, I thought I was on my own there!

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 May 2010, 11:55, closed)

I had this conversation with some guys at work the other day...
It made me sound like a perv, but why would I pay to see some ropey, drug addled bird dance, when I can see it for free online?!

The same goes for prostitutes. I have rarely seen a good looking one, and if you are gonna shag an ugo, why not go to your local dive club, and find one for free?
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Fri 14 May 2010, 13:31, closed)

Very true
but the cheap ones make for a decent night out with the lads every so often
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 May 2010, 11:19, closed)

I've been to one
never again
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 May 2010, 11:57, closed)

I've had a couple of cracking nights at Brown's
naked ladies for a pound a time and beers for under four quid

also the stag night package at the Banana Bar in Amsterdam was top-notch, though I did nearly get hit by a flying dildo
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 May 2010, 16:37, closed)

I don't get them either
They aren't even subtle about their purpose.

'We will seperate you from as much of your cash as we possibly can, and we guarantee that you will not get anything for it'.

I'd have jumped off a bridge if I'd managed to blow £230 without getting my leg over. That guy must be out of his mind . .
( Not Pineapple anymore, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:47, closed)