When
some drunken Neanderthal is really getting up your nose in your local bar. He's not insulting you directly but his racist, homophobic comments are really getting on you tits, it's not a good idea to test out the Legless Theorem.

This theorem states that:

If someone is smaller, or equal in size to me, then I'll be able to beat the crap out of him by my superior strength. (I used to do a lot of rock-climbing and had freakish upper-body strength)

But, if the my foe is obviously bigger and stronger than me, then I'll win because I'm much faster than him.

Over several years of pain-staking research I discovered that I was talking bollocks.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:01, 7 replies)

And how many times did you have to peel yourself off the pavement to learn this?

(LordMatthius http://www.justgiving.com/marathon-matt2009, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:06, closed)

I Was A Scientist
so I had to give it a fair go.

Over ten years I probably won 5, lost 10 and had 20 broken up. (Thank fuck. The ones that were broken up I'd probably have lost....)
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:11, closed)

I have a friend
who is a former pro boxer. He stands about six feet tall with broad shoulders and very evident muscles, and has lightning reflexes- I've seen him move. He's invariably cheerful and pleasant, which is a good thing.

He tells me that he loves getting into fights with large men because they're so slow, but now no one will fight him anymore except for whores and stumpy black men.

This thought makes me smile a lot.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:29, closed)

@Loon
Do you mean like Gary Coleman?
(Milo Minderbinder, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:38, closed)

A little taller than that
but not by much...

Thing is, I wouldn't tangle with the guy for any reason. I've seen him climb around a building he was working on, and have fenced with him with plastic swords. He's insanely strong and inhumanly fast. I would imagine that the stumpy black men are to him what a chihuahua would be to me- a minor nuisance to be swatted away and pissed on.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:43, closed)

Exactly what happened to me in my local last night...
Only the (bigger) guy backed down.

*shrugs*

I'm only a little guy - but stubborn as hell and will NEVER back down from anyone (I think it's called stupidity)
( snee held his breath since, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:48, closed)

My own theory
I've found that when people are being aggressive and confrontational with me, standing up to them is enough to make them back down. I work on the basis that anyone who says they're going to hit you isn't really - if they were, they'd have done it already, rather than let you know it's coming. Not backing down, but also not making my own threats or escalating worked for me 100% of the time for 20 years.

The exception was my neighbours son - a big lad, with a reputation, who was off his nuts on cocaine and booze, apparently. He was kicking off, smashing up their fence, had punched his stepmother etc. I thought I could talk him down. I was wrong. He thought he could knock me down. He was wrong. I decided I could restrain him without punching him back. I was right. I suppose that's 1-0 to me, but I had to get punched square in the face to find out.
(Sammyhaswoefullyneglectedyou, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:46, closed)