drain brain
I have always had an overwhelming compulsion to insert parts of my body into things to see if they will fit, usually with rather predictably embarassing results. Here are just a few of the more spectacular examples...

Exhibit 1. I once put my foot down a small square drain up the road from where I lived (I was 12 at the time) It did fit.. but because the small square I had squeezed my foot into opened out into a bigger gully below, once my heel popped back out I was completely and utterly stuck in said drain. My mother, and subsequently the fire brigade, were called to get me out - and the bill to repair the pavement took months of my pocket money to pay off.

Exhibit 2. I once got my finger stuck in a wrought iron picnic table in a pub garden on a first date. The kitchen assistant who was summoned with washing up liquid & butter thought it was hilarious. I never had a second date with that guy.

Exhibit 3. I was on a flight with my family (aged about 10) and the button on the end of the seat arm to make it recline, was missing - leaving a rather invitingly finger-sized hole. 15 mins later I had to admit to my mother that I was stuck again, and that I was beginning to lose the feeling in my finger. After a lot of pulling and grunting the whole arm of the seat came off. My mother looked down the cavity of the seat arm and determined that since my finger was turning black, this had to be fixed right away. She made me put my hand up high to slow the blood flow, and then marched me the entire length of the plane to the stewardesses at the front. Of course they didn't have any butter at the front of the plane, so I was marched, arm up high, with an entourage of rescuers to the rear of the plane, thus ensuring that there was not a single person onboard who was not aware of my predicament.
( oucheh I am have confused, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 18:33, 7 replies)

It's probably a good thing
you don't have a penis.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 18:38, closed)

Made my day.
*click*
( Gooddeed89, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 18:50, closed)

I smiled at this story
but proper giggled at Mme Marlboro's comment
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 18:54, closed)

Exhibit 2
Is the funniest mental image I've had in a long time.

Thank you.

*click*
(UXB you said it man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 20:10, closed)

Click!
Call me odd, but I found Exhibit 2 rather endearing and you'd probably have gotten another date out of me :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 12:19, closed)

I once
decided to see if I could fit between two stairs (they were the kind that were like a sloping ladder no backs) and I got halfway through before my ass was stuck and I couldn't go back because of my boobs.

Luckily I did manage to escape before any one got back...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 12:47, closed)

* Wishes he could click Madam Marlboro's reply *

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 13:47, closed)